this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2024
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The Onion

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New York - Local cop Thomas Hannon admitted that he’s excited about his upcoming paid leave of absence once he is disciplined for brutalizing a peaceful protester at Columbia University...

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I ate the onion on this one. I wasn’t even surprised.

[–] ickplant 23 points 7 months ago

Same. I was like, what else is new.

[–] moistclump 47 points 7 months ago (1 children)

“This is the time of year when lots of my guys will start choking out turnstile jumpers or pistol-whipping street vendors who don’t have permits. I can’t say I blame them, I’d do the same if I were walking the beat. The hardest part for me is having to pretend I give a shit when I give them a stern talking to and tell thim they are suspended,” said Captain Angioni. “But Officer Hannon is a cut above the rest. I think he’s worked about 15 days in the last two years, he’s always under disciplinary review, getting his full pay. At this point, most of the guys at the station just call him Tommy Bahama because he’s always lounging on the beach.”

Can’t decide between laughing, crying, and sighing.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago

The best satire is painful.

[–] MehBlah 46 points 7 months ago

This one has almost no flavor since it entirely possible.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago

The Hard Times has gone too far this time.

You could have a well organized militia in nothing flat if you just promised us two weeks of paid vacation for an hour of rioting and punching.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

I misread the headline, thought the student was looking forward to the vacation.

[–] HootinNHollerin 3 points 7 months ago