Transfem

I was a full on bundle of rage before I transitioned. I don't know that my other emotions are much different, but the anger is gone.

But I can't tell you if that's because of the HRT or because I stopped living in the closet.

I feel more confident to perform my emotions more femininely, and I feel more confident/happier in general, but I don't think any of that is a direct result of hormones. 3 months btw.

Absolutely. Before starting HRT I felt constantly frustrated about... something. There was some deeply rooted resentment in me and I didn't know what it was about. And yet, people would constantly tell me how I was so "calm". I'm sure that was just me not caring about anything.

Finding out I'm trans did help with some of that, to some extent. But only when I started HRT did these things really vanish. I just feel normal now. Like this is what it should've been from the beginning.

Yeah, I think it's hard to say exactly where and how this changed for me, but it definitely did. I was always a very feminine person, and this would manifest itself around certain places and people. Like pre transition, I had a few friends, specifically that I felt safe acting feminine around, and I would. But the rest of the time, and in general, my emotional responses to things and my feelings did feel very masculine to me. In a way that felt invalidating and made me feel kinda gross with myself.

I would describe myself as very girly now. Like my emotional reactions to things do not feel masculine in any way to me anymore, and i feel like i respond to things in a way society generally assigns femininity to. I also feel girly, and feel that after years living as a woman in all aspects of my life I feel my perspective has changed a lot and my understanding of myself too. It definitely started after starting HRT, when I felt like I could be the "feminine me" all the time.

I also went to therapy a lot and was told by several therapists that if I don't like something about myself, I can choose to change it. So that definitely played a role in it, too, consciously changing how I emotionally respond to things. I took gut reactions, language I would use, and how I processed and expressed my emotions and consciously changed them. I changed how I speak, my intonation, my cadence, and my pronunciation and changed them consciously to the way that I felt less dysphoric about. My voice does not pass yet, I'm considering surgery, but how I speak is unmistakably feminine. My friends and people who know me well are always very bewildered when I get misgendered, because aside from my voice and a couple physical factors it's hard to see me as anything but a woman.

I can't say for sure to what extent the actual chemical changes in my brain impacted that. It's probably non-zero, but not as much as feeling safe to be myself and consciously changing parts of my personality and responses I didn't like and wanted to leave behind. I became the woman I am today. She is the person I always wanted to be, and I worked very hard to be who I am.

Definitely something that many mention experiencing and different people attribute to various things. I think sometimes though changes are almost sort of a placebo effect, where HRT acts as a justification to express emotions that have been suppressed when masking. Also anger that exists as a result of the masking has no reason to exist without the masking, so if you start see yourself a bit more like your true self, the self-frustation may go.

Personally I saw some effects people sometimes attribute to HRT (not really the emotions you mention) simply as a result realizing I'm not actually technical cis long before starting. I haven't been on HRT long enough (only 3 days) to say how it might effect me, but even if it just helps with dissociation, it would likely have that affect of making emotions feel more vibrant just simply because they're feel like they're my emotions. But time will tell.

FWIW some people do report their anger and "competitive spirit" becomes less intense after going on HRT for a while. As well as other emotions becoming more intense and more "vibrant."

From my own experience, I definitely feel a bit more chill. I don't get aggravated as quickly, and when I do, it doesn't feel as intense or "hot" as it used to. This could be more that I don't have as big a hypothetical thorn in my side anymore from alleviating a bit of my dysphoria however. I do cry more easily now, and it feels a bit different when my emotions boil over to that point. It's more... even? Like the feelings are wider and more gradual or gentle instead of narrow and pointed and intense. Kind of an abstract way to put it I guess but that's how I visualize them.

I don't think I've ever felt that the way a specific emotion manifested was masculine or feminine, but since starting HRT 8 months ago, I do feel a lot more free to express myself. I cry easier and I tend to not get as angry anymore. I've gotten significantly more social and I smile more often as well. And overall, I feel like I'm living my own life now and not someone else's.

I know I used to repress myself from expressing certain emotions beforehand. Perhaps that's kinda what you are feeling? Which, starting HRT did help me break down some of the mental barriers I had surrounding those emotions.

For sure; I've felt so many strong emotions since starting.

I'll use TV shows as an example. When I watched Parks and Rec before I started, I was aware of the emotional connection I felt between the characters, and of my connection parasocially to them, but it never really bubble up enough to be visible except in the really emotional episodes. Now, I get to really feel the emotions when I watch things like avatar or x-men. I'm not sure that's a good way to describe it, but it.... well it feels more real now.

It also feels more real when I get to experience hurt, but if you can stay away from transphobes with power over an aspect of your life you should be fine.

You'll cry easier. But that's about it.