this post was submitted on 03 Apr 2024
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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In a groundbreaking development, scientists have identified a newly discovered gene believed to contribute to a larger bone structure in some individuals, popularly referred to as being “big-boned.” This news has sparked excitement among sturdy, husky, and hefty children worldwide, who have often faced assumptions that their weight is solely a result of embarrassingly poor dietary choices and near-zero amount of exercise.

Dubbed the “big bone” gene, this revolutionary discovery is set to shake up the world of genetics and weight loss. For years, overweight individuals have been told that their size is a result of their lifestyle choices, but now they can rest assured that their weight is simply a matter of genetics.

Read the rest of the satire news article here on TattletaleTimes.com

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[–] garzaza77 16 points 7 months ago (3 children)

damn i was hoping this was real and could use it as an excuse for being fat

[–] EdibleFriend 9 points 7 months ago

Blame oh....I don't know....moe.

[–] MotoAsh 7 points 7 months ago

Don't lose that fat!! This is a PSA for big-boned people: gain more weight if you want to float. Drowning is your biggest threat. Keep that life preserver close, because if you're ripped, you're SINKING!!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

There are some genetic conditions that cause the body to store fat more easily than the average person, plus a ton of conditions that do the same.

Gut biome also has a big impact!

So when you eat something the food gets broken down and your body figures out what to do with it based on a combination of many things, and the recommended diet is basically the average, with plenty of people at the extremes of hard to put on weight or easy to put on weight.

All of the different combinations of how an individual processes eneegy can technically be addressed through diet and exercise, although being different from the human baseline can make figuring out the right diet extremely hard, and it is far harder to lose the weight than it was to put on while figuring it out.

[–] ryanalexhowell 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Eric Cartman would love this

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

I'm just festively plump.

[–] eran_morad 5 points 7 months ago