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Scientists Discover "Big Bone" Gene, Overweight Children Everywhere Rejoice (www.tattletaletimes.com)

submitted 7 months ago by tattletaletimes to c/funny

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In a groundbreaking development, scientists have identified a newly discovered gene believed to contribute to a larger bone structure in some individuals, popularly referred to as being “big-boned.” This news has sparked excitement among sturdy, husky, and hefty children worldwide, who have often faced assumptions that their weight is solely a result of embarrassingly poor dietary choices and near-zero amount of exercise.

Dubbed the “big bone” gene, this revolutionary discovery is set to shake up the world of genetics and weight loss. For years, overweight individuals have been told that their size is a result of their lifestyle choices, but now they can rest assured that their weight is simply a matter of genetics.

Read the rest of the satire news article here on TattletaleTimes.com

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[–] MotoAsh 7 points 7 months ago

Don't lose that fat!! This is a PSA for big-boned people: gain more weight if you want to float. Drowning is your biggest threat. Keep that life preserver close, because if you're ripped, you're SINKING!!