this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2024
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Michigan

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Si quaeris peninsulam amoenam in braccas mea vide

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Seagulls are protected under the "Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918". This means that it is illegal to capture, kill, or keep a seagull in your home (unless you have a special permit).

So, no: you cannot go into the Meijer parking lot, yoink a seagull from the flock, and take it home.

This PSA has been brought to you by an argument with my son during a grocery pick-up.

Thank you.

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[–] WhereGrapesMayRule 55 points 9 months ago (7 children)

So unfair. Meanwhile, if a flock of seagulls picks you up and flies away with you, there are no legal consequences for them whatsoever.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Almost happened to me once, but then I ran. I ran so far away. I just ran, I ran all night and day.

[–] WhereGrapesMayRule 5 points 9 months ago

It's not so bad, really. From up here, Aurora borealis comes in view

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I understand that this is upsetting, as I know many Michigan residents who have lost loved ones in the Seagull Wars.

However, seagull deterrents are legal, as long as it does not directly harm the birds themselves.

[–] psycho_driver 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

So unfair. Meanwhile, if a flock of seagulls picks you up and flies away with you, there are no legal consequences for them whatsoever.

A human would probably be too heavy for a flock of seagulls to fly away with. They'd be more likely to run so far away with you.

[–] BleakBluets 3 points 9 months ago (2 children)

A human would probably be too heavy for a flock of seagulls to fly away with.

Perhaps too heavy for Herring Gulls, but they could be carried by Great Black-Backed Gulls.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Perhaps if they were to put you on a line between them

[–] Seleni 2 points 9 months ago

I really feel there’s a coconut joke in here somewhere

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Not entirely true. In bird culture, that is considered a dick move.

[–] dumpsterlid 7 points 9 months ago

Unless the seagulls pick you up in a giant ass peach with the intention of freeing you from an abusive parent.

[–] llamapants 6 points 9 months ago

However, if A Flock of Seagulls picked you up and took off with you, there WOULD be legal consequences.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

This is their land, we just moved here

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (2 children)

What if they poke you in the coconut?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

That counts as consent.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

then the coconut has a pretty good case and should call a lawyer

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This entire post has been a wonderful read. Thank you all, for the good work you do.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

You're welcome. Happy to contribute useful knowledge to the community. 👍

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Well, I'd like to see anyone stop me, cuz my living room full of seagulls begs to differ.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

When the feds come to your door, they're gonna hear all those seagulls.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Bird law in this country is not governed by reason.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

This law brought to you by the seagullmen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lNqicJOvR8

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

They can absolutely kidnap you though

[–] thantik 2 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Does this cover ducks at the park too? Because if so I think I'm in trouble.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Wild ducks are also protected under this law.

If they are domesticated ducks, then they are more than likely owned & you may have committed the crime of theft.

If you find a domesticated duck at the park with conformation that it is not owned or was abandoned, go for it.

Ducks are so messy, though.. so unless you have an adequate outdoor space with a good water source, maybe rethink your duck-yoinking.

[–] Cruxifux 0 points 9 months ago

No. It can’t. Alex Jones would never lie to me.