This is a community for Dads. Single Dads, new Dads, Step-Dads, tall Dads, short Dads, and any other kind of Dad. If you've got kids in your life that you love and provide for, come join us as we discuss everything from birth announcements to code browns in the shower.
I am a budding collector of unhinged quotations from my kid. Two of my favourites:
Daddy, I want a cannibal toothbrush like yours.
Mechanical. Bless.
My favourite green thing is nobody, because nobody is green.
This one is almost like a zen koan. Little four year old suddenly using conceptual negative space, crazy how nature do that.
My son (2) has developed a sudden a surprising aversion to having a bath. Last night we asked if he would get in the bath and he replied in the cutest way possible with the word "Nope".
My boy asked if he could have some chips, in this case some cheese Doritos. But the bag wasn't open yet, so I asked if there were any other kinds that were already open?
With great dramatic effect he sighed and said, "only plain 😖".
I laughed and let him have some.
Not recent, but my daughter said:
"mummy your bum is too big"
Nice one ha ha
That's hilarious.
My kid would have gotten an impromptu biology lecture. Or at the very least introduced to some M.C. Hammer music.
Wasn't this Sir Mix-A-Lot
You are Arabella Weir and I claim my five pounds.
Pre-school would often ask my daughter survey questions about herself and send the survey home.
One question was "My favorite food is:".
She put "Birds".
I have an almost-3-year-old, and a 10 month old. Last night my older one took a teether away from my younger one’s hand, just to then put it in front of her face and sternly say, “eat it!!!”
The sequence, in person, was very funny.
Are uncles allowed to answer?
I told my sister's kids that my favorite candy was Butterfinger. They said they've never tried it but she told them to look in their Halloween candy bags. My niece comes running back, tears in her eyes, and whimpers, "Mom.....I can't find the butter hands...."
She also calls mozzarella sticks "monster elephants"
Ummmm no, yes, no, it's green, gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
They're two moments I always remember, one from each of my boys.
My eldest as a young child once talked about the Wii controller, "It's called a nunchuck because it's a nun and you must chuck it".
The other son misheard musical lyrics and for a while would sing to himself the Ghostbusters theme with the following line,"If there's something strange, and it's made of wood. Who ya gonna call?"