ADHD

I usually just go outside and take a walk when inside noise bothers me, even if i go with my younger sister that yells really loud, the absesnce of walls gets rid of the echo that makes me feel "pain".

I could not recommend anything more strongly than loop earplugs. they have been a lifesaver for me. they have 3 different types with different dB of reduction, and ones made specifically so you can still hear people with them in. I have two pairs and they make everything easier

If you've not learnt it already, some mental anchoring techniques might help you. Mine help me a lot. I have 2 main ones, internal and external. The Internal one helps best for blocking externally driven mental problems, while the external one is useful for internally driven ones. You might already know them, but in case you don't...

Internal:

This requires some minor prep work. When you're in a good place, mentally, stop, and turn your attention inward. What you want to do is "map" as much as you can about your current internal state. How your feeling, how your thinking, even how your standing and moving. Map what your mind, body and soul are actually doing and feeling.

Later, when you are on tilt, mental, you can use your map. Take a moment and focus inwards again, you will find a very different state. For me it's akin to a stormy sea, but that's often personal. Now you take your mapped state, and almost lay it over your mind like a blanket. Because it is your own mental state to begin with, your mind will be a lot more accepting of it. It will also quickly learn that this is a positive thing, and try and fit to the new pattern. This then pushes your mind towards that "ideal", calm, and focused state, rather than its chaotic one. External stimuli can still push it back into tilt, but you now, at least have a method to push back.

External:

This is better against internally generated chaos. This sort tends to resist the mental blanket technique, like a toddler resisting nap time.

It's actually quite simple, just pay attention to the world around you. It's a "classic" anchoring technique for panic attacks. You want to notice everything, the colours of the walls, the marks on the table, the feel of your cloths, and your breath moving in and out. This effectively crowds out the thought loop that is sending you off kilter.

Do not use this technique, if your external environment is more chaotic than your internal one! If you do, it can be akin to pouring oil onto a fire.

It could be a form of hyperacusis. Noising canceling headphones help. Also there is an earplug for concerts called vibes that I found in Amazon. You can still hear people talk, they are discreet, and help with my auditory discomfort.

I have the same problem. I also got some earbuds that do the ambient noise or noise cancelling and I can switch between modes easily. It does help some.

If I'm somewhere where I can't get away from the chaos I'll put on some lofi music with noise cancelling and that helps. If I need to pay attention (like if I'm grocery shopping with the kids) I will leave it on ambient mode. Some of the binaural beats playlists on spotify are really nice for calming my brain. I would definitely recommend checking those out.

If it is possible, getting outside and going for a walk, especially if you can get into grass or wooded environment is extremely helpful for me.

Something that may help (it helps me sometimes) is regularly doing some kind of heavy work, like lifting weights, pushups, etc. to really train the muscles. It helps calm my whole system down for hours. Working out regularly throughout the week has helped me a lot. I definitely notice when I miss some days.

You might benefit from headphones that have more passive noise isolation. A closed-back over-ear headphone like Sony WH-1000XM4 which reduces by around 28 dB overall (scroll down to isolation test results) while Airpods Pro do about 21 dB. 7 dB difference is very noticeable even though it look like much, theoretically more than twice as loud.

I have the 1000XM3 which do 30dB reduction, and I rate them highly. You'll need to check test results for different models and brands, over-ear closed-ear headphones don't necessarily guarantee great isolation but it helps. It's also worth trying to figure out if there are specific frequencies which get you - I struggle with high pitches like dentist drills and screaming children, for example.

Beyond that, I suspect you need to look into things with an EN 352 or ANSI S3.19 standard. Items like earmuffs and plugs have NRR (Noise Reduction Ratings) in the US and SNR (Single Number Rating) in the UK which will tell you how many dB they block.

Have three small kids, even my NT wife can find the noise too much, I just have to leave, I go be useful as best I can and make dinner, do clean up laundry etc

Honestly, not much helps so I’m here for other ideas too.

If I can’t remove myself to a quiet place, noise canceling earbuds are my go-to as well. I have airpod pros too, and they’re ok, but Jabra’s active noise cancellation has been by far the best in my experience. So far, anyway.

Going outside does help, too. It’s not quiet, necessarily, but sounds bounce differently, so it’s much less overwhelming.

-32 db foam earplugs. I keep a couple pairs in my pocket always.