Asklemmy

Self discipline is a skill in itself and it is something you can learn.

At it's most basic you restrict things you want and make them a reward for doing a task.

It can be hard to restrict things as you say. When I used to study, I used to go to a "3rd place" to do it. That is somewhere that is not home or work - I used to go to a library. In that environments you don't have TV, or food, and hopefully you won't be masturbating.

Mobiles can be very difficult though - if you can't stop yourself using your phone to watch YouTube then either leave it at home (I know, shocking idea in this day and age!) Or install parental locking/anti distraction software that locks your phone down for certain periods. This can help you learn self discipline with your phone.

Similarly if you study with a laptop, then look at anti distraction tools to keep you focused on your work rather than surfing or on YouTube.

The reward side is very important. You need to be consistent and follow through on your promises to yourself. Don't use unrealistic rewards - like "if I study for 6 hours today I'll have dinner tonight". You're going to have dinner anyway, and you don't want to go down the road of punishing yourself. Make it a favourite meal, or promise to watch next episode in a favourite TV show.

The idea is that you will be still enjoying those things because you will study and work. But be prepared to deny yourself those things if you fail to reach your goals in the beginning.

Self discipline is hard, not least because you can cheat yourself too easily. But it's worth putting in the effort, and the forced physical separation from the distractions and rewards at home makes it easier.

Why would anyone wanna be productive if not for the sake of pleasure? Why even live? Get your priorities straight and then do the math. This shit is investment!

I hate to say it, but watch the David Goggins interview with Huberman recently. The overall point is - hard stuff is never easy, it always sucks, and there’s only one way through it and that’s by doing it, no matter what.

In your scenario, you’re always waiting for the moment when it “feels good or right” to do the work… but it never does feel ideal, right. That’s the key, accepting that it sucks and pushing on through that sucky part anyway.

The good news is, the sucky part gets less and less once you pass the first hump of starting. It’s like the hardest part of exercising is getting started, once you’re doing it you’re fine.

Good luck, I know the feeling.

Lemmy User: Asks for advice

Lemmy: ADHD

You need practice at concentrating on your work.

In the same way you'd work out to build muscle strength, your mind needs regular training to stay in shape.

Start with sensible, achievable goals and improve over time.

Something that helped me is setting smaller goals, like studying just a little before taking a break. If I ordinarily study for 0 minutes and screw around for an hour, I'd try to study for 5 minutes and screw around for 55 minutes. Smaller goals are more achievable and take the pressure off. Then you can build on that small success instead of feeling like it has to be all or nothing.

When I was at university I couldn’t work at home at all and I had to force myself to go to the library on campus and work there. I later learnt I had ADHD though, so that didn’t help.

I got some counselling, then on the anti depressants, they were the first step - let me see why I should do something different, but then I got onto the ADHD meds and they let me focus. It took a while, had to work out what worked for me but once I got it it was the answer I needed. They're not the solution for everyone, but if you haven't tried at least talk to someone about it.

This sort of dopamine-seeking behaviour can be a symptom of ADHD (though it's not the only possible reason)

I won't give you the "self-discipline" options since others touched on it. If it's a mental thing, it could be ADHD, anxiety, and/or depression. Before you dismiss it, look at the diagnostic criteria from doctors on YouTube or maybe the ICD. I wouldn't put too much weight into the DSM-5 for ADHD because it's been criticized for having an inaccurate or stereotypical view of it. People like Dr. K (HealthyGamer) say that ADHD is simultaneously overdiagnosed and underdiagnosed for similar reasons. If you do go the psychiatry route, make sure you find a doctor who genuinely listens. Medication and therapy can change your life for the better, but they won't do that if the person giving the treatment doesn't care.

This can be especially difficult if you work from home or are a student. I have a long list of projects I've started and given up. I end up wasting time sometimes browsing the internet, watching short videos, playing chess, etc.

The trick is just to keep trying. Forcing yourself to sit down and work for even just 10 minutes is a success. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Try to make it a habit and it becomes effortless.

Sometimes I've had success with certain apps / browser extensions that block certain sites during certain times. For example, from 9am -> 3pm I have "lichess.org" and "chess.com" blocked so I can't waste 30 minutes compulsively playing bullet chess. Sometimes I still do, but that extra step of having to disable the blocker does prevent a lot of the time wasting.

I guess the question also is - are you meeting your deadlines? Are you completing the responsibilities given to you? I always meet my deadlines, my main issue is motivating myself to do my side projects.

Going to the gym and lifting heavy has been medicine for me. Eating healthy (I make my own food from scrstch). Walking. Hiking. It's a mentality change. My health was deteriorating. My knees were giving out on me at an early age. I started to become diabetic and that was a major issue. Now, it's all gone. I am healthier than ever. Never bored. Always have something to do. And at the end of the day when I have time, I'd play video games to relax. I only do an hour and max 1.5 hours then just get up. I usually set up a timer and stop the game right away when the timer goes off. Do things that attract your interest. That way you get busy with them. Change majors if you had to. If you're bored with school then it's not the major for you. Stay away from anti-depressants and all that. You have your own medicine in your hands. Good luck to you and I hope that things get better for you.

This sounds like a robot or alien interviewing humans. "Hello fellow meat bags. Have you consumed any good chunks of assorted nutrients lately?"

As others have said, this could be symptomatic of something like ADHD.

I didn't get diagnosed until 18 and it changed the game. I was very hesitant to start stimulants because of misinformation and stigma, but my doctor corrected a lot of that and it's changed my life.

Doctor Russell Barkley has been at the forefront of ADHD research for decades and has a YouTube channel that's packed with useful information. If what you see resonates with you, I'd talk to your doctor about it.

Blame it on Mara.

What you're looking for is Stoicism. You can start with Emperor Marcus Aurelius' Meditations or Epictetus' Enchiridion.