this post was submitted on 06 Jan 2024

803 points (98.7% liked)

Programmer Humor

32483 readers

285 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

Posts must be relevant to programming, programmers, or computer science.
No NSFW content.
Jokes must be in good taste. No hate speech, bigotry, etc.

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

803

Thanks, TCP/IP (lemmy.today)

submitted 10 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

31 comments fedilink hide all child comments

all 32 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] [email protected] 59 points 10 months ago (6 children)

UDP: Hold my beer.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Well, the packets start comin' and they don't stop comin'
Fed to the rules and I hit the cable runnin'

[–] sharkwellington 33 points 10 months ago (1 children)

and they don't stop comin' and they don't stop comin' and they don't stop comin' and they don't stop comin'

-DDOS attacks

[–] Kelo 6 points 10 months ago

Didn't make sense not to ping for fun

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago

UDP: Throws beer in your general direction with no prior notice.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago

Or don't. I don't care. Anyway here's the bill

[–] c0mbatbag3l 7 points 10 months ago

I gave my best effort.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

UPNP: I'm about to end this whole man's career

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Universal Plug'n'Play?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

beer proceeds to shatter on the ground

[–] Dlayknee 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

UDP: meh

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Here's another one, catch!

[–] Linkerbaan 43 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Career prospects

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Are they going to expand into Canada? That's a much better deal than getting reemed by Telus or Rogers.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Yeah, no joke. That would be awesome, and they wouldn't be scared off by the paper terrorism.

When Mexico sends us us people, they're not sending their best. /s

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Damn, they must be charging an arm and a leg then, or your firstborn perhaps.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

Wi-Fi protection racket has to be a new one, right?

[–] FishFace 28 points 10 months ago (2 children)

If you're using TCP and losing packets you should be panicking though, because something is very wrong...

[–] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago (1 children)

True, but TCP will just resend them, you won’t lose anything but some latency. Meaning it’s something to look into, but not something to panic about.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You can lose packets. Just cut the cable, but the other side will notice that the transmission is incomplete.

[–] FishFace 4 points 10 months ago

Shouldn't the engineer be a bit more worried if the cable's been cut?

If UDP drops packets it's probably nothing. If TCP drops packets it's because something's actually wrong.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Drug engineers

[–] shalva97 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Senior drug architect

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Drug scrum master

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

IT dealers

[–] devfuuu 9 points 10 months ago

Sonic: gotta go QUIC.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Actually even a few dropped packets is too many in IT IMO lol

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

"you pee tcp? i pee urine" - chip ~ sales guy vs web dude

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Hahahaha