this post was submitted on 06 May 2024
128 points (93.2% liked)
Asklemmy
42502 readers
1373 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
No matter what so many people say, it's not mandatory to have a partner!
Invest your effort in figuring out how to live with yourself. Build a life worth living on your own.
A right person might come, or not. But at least you didn't waste your life chasing wrong goals.
And also, all relationships are valuable. A good friendship is a wonderful boon to your mental health... and if you're seeking a relationship for sex there are far easier ways to do it.
Also, expanding on that, if you go into every interaction with a narrow expectation (e.g. to find the love of your life) you will be disappointed almost all the time but if you keep an open mind you might come out of that with some other positive interactions (a new friend, an interesting conversation, ...) than you expected or were hoping for.
This one right here!
Love isn't commanded, but if you have friends you're so much more likely to meet people that might be like you, and that's what makes love work in the long run too.
Good luck!
It isn't, but loneliness sucks.
Good friends are a better cure to loneliness than one person, no matter how cool they are
I mean, I understand people not looking for a partner. But sometimes having a person close to you can help a ton especially in hard times and great for fighting loneliness.
I have a a couple of close friends, but they're all moving away for work/stuff, and being alone is hitting hard.
Fucking A....as a 42 year old guy who has not been married but been in relationships for the last 12 years...take the time to learn what you want, not settling for what's available. Also listen when a person tells you who they are.
Thank you for being one of the only people to be real about how it's not a guarantee. You might not find anyone. I see way too much fairy tale thinking and all the "just wait, she'll come" nonsense.
Being lonely sucks, being single in a society that requires 2 incomes sucks, but I think being in a shitty relationship just to be in a relationship is worse.
Unfortunately I'm writing from personal experience.
After too many years I don't think I'll ever find anyone. But accepting it was a relief. It's terrifyingly lonely at times, but at least I'm not suicidal any more. And I understand who I am and what is my way of life.
I can't understate the benefits of understanding oneself can have on mental health.
I'm in a similar position, but I think I'm still working through "coming to terms" with my "situation."
It's definitely depressing as I've only had 2 real goals in life: be in a loving relationship, and own a home. Both of those are proving to be exceedingly unlikely to happen the older I get.
it's not mandatory to have a job or a car or a house.
but the vast majority of us want those things and a life without them is pretty shitty.