No Stupid Questions
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Look, you don't deserve the treatment you've described. Everyone here agrees with you on that.
The person you were replying to was trying to explain why what you said might be interpreted as judgemental, even if that's not how you meant it (and we all believe you, even if the people you're talking about don't).
I think the last line sums it up. You don't eat meat, and that's the only explanation you owe anyone.
However, I know that when I'm providing a meal and I learn someone doesn't eat meat, I always ask follow up questions because maybe I cooked the 1rice with chicken stock, or maybe the vegetables were sauteed in butter. If it is a moral choice, I would appreciate a heads up so I can prepare a meal everyone can enjoy. I'm not irritated by the request, because that's the whole reason why you cook food for friends. If it's a healthy choice, you might still eat some of the brown rice, or maybe I sub oil for butter. Those are changes I can make on the fly.
I know I've probably unintentionally offended some vegans by probing for more answers. And I've met some vegans who are every bit as judgemental as you've been assumed to be. We could all do a little bit better at understanding each other.
I'd not see it as judgemental, just trying to inform. These days meatcis just a commodity, completely disasociated from the animals it comes from and without second thougt on how those animals are treated. If I go into detail like this, it's really just to get the info out there in a casual way. The person in question might ignore it, or may think about it. I also needed nudges like this to realize the moral issue and I'm happy for every one of them. I don't really go into detail much, and rarely inform someone about my preferences. But will answer truthfuly when asked
If someone chooses to ignore ot just not see the suffering behind eating meat in this day and age, it is frustrating though to say the least. Especially if simply reducing the meat intake and being more selective about the source of the meat comes a long way. But I get why it is so tough, as I'm not a saint myself and while I reduce meat most of the time, I still have some occasionally even if I feel bad about it.