this post was submitted on 27 Apr 2024
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I’ve never in my life felt the compulsion to jump from high places - the call of the void, as it were. But this photo confirms I just haven’t been at a high enough altitude. My brain just started chanting “jump! jump! jump!”
I guess if a space agency was looking for a middle ager with no aeronautical knowledge or experience, I’d have to turn them down.
If it makes you feel better, you would be long dead before you ever hit the ground. Jumping from that point, you would still be in an ever so slightly declining orbit around earth. I am not sure how long it would take you to reenter but you would have died from the lack oxygen long before then. When you do get there, you will most likely burn up in the atmosphere spreading your ashes over whatever continent or ocean happens to be below you at the time. A great way in my opinion to do cremations with maximum spread.
Getting to space is a bit prohibitively expensive for a cremation.
What we need is an incredibly high speed corpse cannon. With a gentle enough acceleration curve and a high enough muzzle velocity, it’ll get whole corpses cremated for a prohibitively expensive cost - but less expensive than launching the corpse into space. At least until someone screws up the acceleration curve and accidentally makes a people soup cannon and the government pays me a visit for posting such weird comments online.
I like the way you think! I think we could do it cheaper though. You know how we have that spinney thing at NASA for the astronauts? Well what if we stand that straight up and accelerate it even faster to launch them into orbit? They will already be dead so the G's taken on by the body should be fine.