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Absolutely ridiculous that it took this long for them to tell us what they are selling.
GIGA huge MASSIVE!!!!!! (30MBPS)
And the tiny text that reads "*30mpbs downlink speed, 5mpbs uplink speed. Studies from the 90s have shown morons like you don't need useful upload speeds lmao"
More like "we want you to consoom product and only consoom product. If you want to produce something and host it, we will charge you out the ass for it 'cause obviously that's only a thing profit-seeking businesses do. Wait, you say you want to host your personal passion project as a hobby -- what are you, some sort of motherfucking commie scum??"
I'm already a bit mad about 50mbps up on a gigabit down line
Up to. Actual speeds may vary by time of day, over subscription, lobbying, and the your local consumer protection regulations.
Blazing fast (compared to throwing your computer into mud pit)
Most states already regulate this, but it's nice to see the federal entity functioning like it's supposed to.