ADHD

9668 readers

99 users here now

A casual community for people with ADHD

Values:

Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.

Rules:

No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
No porn, gore, spam, or advertisements allowed.
Do not request for donations.
Do not link to other social media or paywalled content.
Do not gatekeep or diagnose.
Mark NSFW content accordingly.
No racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, or ageism.
Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).

Encouraged:

Funny memes.
Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
Questions on confusing situations.
Seeking and sharing support.
Engagement in our values.

Relevant Lemmy communities:

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

MrPoopyButthole

[email protected]

How do you stop making excuses? (lemm.ee)

submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/adhd

11 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'm sure many of you are familiar with the issue of making excuses for everything. I don't just mean excusing your unfinished chores by saying "I have ADHD", I mean excuses and fabrications in general - at work, you might say you're nearly finished with a project, but really you're halfway done at best, at home you might say you couldn't start the dishwasher because of how angry your pregnant wife was at you for choosing the wrong program on the washing machine, so you were scared to start the dishwasher - fully ignoring the fact that you were supposed to start the dishwasher BEFORE even being confronted about the washing machine. The last one is a stupid example, but it happened an hour ago and it's a pattern I hate about myself.

If you've had a similar issue and identified it, what has helped you improve yourself? I may never be perfect to the point I'll get everything done that I need to, but I'd like to at least stop making stupid excuses that just bring up fights that could've been avoided.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] feedmecontent 6 points 7 months ago

For me it helped to address why I made them in the first place. When I was younger (and now), the real reason was always that my executive function just needed more cooldown time or at least a different sort of activity than the one that I was lying about. That wasn't language I had access to at the time. The closest thing I had was "I can't", which adults never let me say because it was always in relation to things they'd seen me do before, so they couldn't fathom that I couldn't do it then. So I had to make something up. But in my current adult life, actually, people recognize what my struggles are and understand if I just say what really did happen (executive function misfire). Or if I don't know them that well I just say something personal came up, which is what an executive function misfire is, no lie, they just aren't privy to stuff that personal.