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Dysphoria got you down? Comment on this post for moral support from your trans siblings!
(lemmy.blahaj.zone)
this post was submitted on 23 Mar 2024
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I just wish I wasn't so afraid of being clocked in public. Absolutely kills me to go outside in boymode, but my fear of judgement/violence is even greater. Doesn't help that I'm living in a red state
Live in a red state as well and it really sucks! I've found that more androgenous clothing is a little more forgiving for my anxiety than full on femme clothing like dresses or skirts. Then I'll put on a nice necklace to femme it up just a tad more and I feel pretty cute but not too clockable.
Sure I still get some funny looks but my anxiety about the situation is a lot better. Do you think something like that might help?
What kind of androgenous clothing? I go out with painted nails and stuff. I'm not as scared of being read as queer as I am trans. It's getting more difficult as my boobs become more prominent since unfortunately my face is very masc coded. I mostly just wear super baggy clothes when I go out currently. It feels amazing when I get to go to private, safe places and can wear fits that aren't trying to hide my gender identity like fitted tanks/tops. Sadly that happens far too infrequently.
I'm trying to plan on getting to a blue state, but it's difficult to find a job out of state in tech as a trans woman all while timing it so I don't have to break my lease
You could use a binder like what FTMs use if you want to hide them in specific situations. They're not that expensive. A decent one will cost you $20-40.
I can hide my chest, that's what I'm doing now for the most part. My issue is getting over my fear/anxiety of being hate crimed so I can live as myself in public
That really sucks. I'm sorry you're in that situation. I haven't got an easy answer for you, but I hope you're able to find those little pockets in your area where you can be yourself. Hang in there.
Does being trans have a major impact on finding tech jobs or is it just the industry as a whole right now? I have heard tech/IT is a bit more accepting than some career paths. I've debated if it might be better for me to get out before starting to transition.
It's the tech industry overall right now.
They overhired during the pandemic, and now they're over-firing 'cuz of the AI bubble. Once it pops they'll start hiring like crazy again.
The tech industry as a whole has been hemorrhaging positions for years now so there's a lot of competition. Acceptance really comes down to where you work and not really what field. Though it will always be harder for trans people to find positions because of discrimination. Also employers really don't like hiring out of state if they can help it.
I went for clothing that was a bit more unisex in nature and then having some "accessories" to femme things up (or masc things up if I'm having a rough self conscious day)
So examples would be experimenting with different colors on you. So before my egg cracked, I just wore grey, black and navy blue. Very drab and unapologetic.
Now I wear all sorts of colorful pieces. Pink, purple, maroon, whatever looks good for my skin tone.
Also, you can femme up most outfits with a nice cardigan and if you're feeling extra cute, a nice necklace or bracelet. Still femme but a little less "noticable" If anything, I'm probably clocked as gay or queer but not specifically trans yet.
Now, once my boobs grow in that'll be a different story but it's a good transitionary approach to wardrobe.