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What is the word for someone who is friends with different groups but doesn't have loyalty to any one group? (self.nostupidquestions)

submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by Pat12 to c/nostupidquestions

71 comments fedilink hide all child comments

The closest word I can think of is a sycophant but that's too strong word and not exactly what I'm looking for. The word I'm thinking of has negative connotations and it's for someone who is friends with different groups but only at a superficial level and isn't necessarily honest about who all they're friends with. This person would be seen as untrustworthy.

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[–] Pat12 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I know people who were Christians in Afghanistan, who were outed to the government (Taliban). The word they use is “spy”. It may not be the normal, English use of the word, but it’s the word that real-life people who have been on the receiving end of the betrayal use.

This is basically what i mean; someone who you can't fully trust about their allegiance.

That is really awful what happened to those people; are they ok now?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Sorry to be very late to reply.

I know two people who were Christians in Afghanistan, they are both now in North America. When they were found out, they fled their homes with little more than the clothes on their backs to India. They did not know each other in Afghanistan (they came from different states), but became friends in India. One fellow was there for 7 years, the other for 14 years. India does not recognize refugee status, therefore they were undocumented (illegal) people with no rights or the ability to work legally. They got by by doing under-table work for cash and by the kindness of others. They still faced attempts on their lives in India, too, by other Afghan Muslims living there. Since they were not there legally, they could not go to the police to report the assaults. The guy who was there for 7 years, he was sponsored to leave India and go to another country as a refugee. After he settled and eventually became a citizen, he started the process to sponsor his friend whom he'd left behind. They, and their church, are now sponsoring more refugees.

Are they okay? That's hard to say. I mean, they're doing much better because they are safe, but they have certain behaviours borne from their hardships and traumas. They are very mistrustful of the government, for one; it's basically unbelievable to them that there can be government programs that are beneficial to them. There must be strings, or some way for the government to spy on them. Sometimes I see self-soothing behaviours, like one guy kind of holds himself and rocks back and forth. They need therapy, but that kind of thing is not really within their radar. But they are still compassionate people who are very hard-working and dedicated to helping or saving others who were in the same situation as they were. I don't think they will ever have "peace" so long as there's more injustice to fight against in the world.