this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2024
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[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation

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For better or for worse, while growing up my social life was mostly online: gaia online, livejournal, deviantart, tumblr, and many others. I've heard of social media interaction be described as social junk food & even as I want to defend the many genuine, meaningful online relationships I had, I'm sympathetic: of course it's better to laugh together, to touch each other, to see each other's facial expressions, to do projects together, to tangibly help each other, to be part of each others' physical lives. Of course tech companies prey on our increasing loneliness and need for interaction the way that Coca Cola preys on thirst: claiming to cure it but exacerbating it and making us ill at the same time (and killing workers as they do it). But lots of people are in situations that keep them isolated that they can't easily change: disability, living rurally, working two jobs, living in places where they can't speak the language well, and the internet can provide a solution.

My life circumstances enable me to live the life I've always wanted to live, but it comes at a few sacrifices, the biggest being a social life, particularly a social life with people who share my values and who I feel comfortable speaking intimately with. There are lots of ways I can think of to make friends online, but mostly they involve having conversations on spyware platforms. Now that I'm privacypilled I can't unring that bell. It's as comfortable for me to make a friendship on a facebook group as it would be meeting a stranger for lunch in an extremely crowded public venue and have to scream our entire conversation perpetually. At least if they were willing to switch to Signal or something at some point we could metaphorically go to a quiet cafe and speak freely, but even the dude I talked to who talked about the book he read on techno-feudalism ditched it after trying it for a grand total of five minutes with me.

I fucking hate most tech companies and basically can't tolerate mainstream social media. My IRL prospects are what they are, I could change them only at great cost to myself. But, embracing my milkless cloth monkey mom, I have to admit sociality, love, and understanding are needs: their absence won't kill me as quickly as starvation, but it's probably up there with sedentism. Anybody else in the same pinch? How do you cope?

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Discord, particularly small hobby communities.

I've found people around the taskmaster franchise (British game show with a host of international adaptations, randomly got drawn into a subtitle making discord and love it), a geoguessr community (browsergame), and a location based discord where I'm at.

[–] tributarium 7 points 8 months ago (2 children)

But I have no reason to believe Discord is even an iota less evil than Facebook.

I wish I could loosen up and enjoy malicious tech but like I said, I just can't unring that bell, even though it makes my life meaningfully worse. Iykyk

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I was surprised to see someone namedrop Gaia. I still log in daily out of habit.

Honestly I'm in a similar situation. Discord seems to be the way to go, but it's hard to look past the privacy issues and enshittification. IIRC you can rig up Matrix to work with discord "servers" but I don't see how that would solve the root problem.

Here's hoping we're find a solution.

[–] tributarium 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Sorry, I can't hear you over my sitting down and standing back up repeatedly xD

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] Evotech 2 points 8 months ago

If you can't trust any social platform then u guess you are doomed to not being social...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I love taskmaster. It's probably the only show that makes me actually laugh out loud when I'm watching it at night while the wife and kids are already in bed.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Yep, it's awesome. Have you watched any of the international versions? New Zealand and Australia are in English (US is crap and got cancelled after 1 season), Norway and Portugal are the best after UK IMHO and the subtitles are excellent.