The Onion

4548 readers

869 users here now

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

790

submitted 9 months ago by The_Picard_Maneuver to c/[email protected]

54 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure I'm a 17 year old stuck in an old man dad bod, and it's fucking amazing. People sell me booze and power tools without question.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Don't forget spray paint and lighters!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I can just...rent a bulldozer. Whenever I want. And no one will even try to stop me. Not until it's too late, at least.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Very Killdozer vibes. Pop off, King! (or Queen- I don't know you especially when the FBI comes around asking questions 😉)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

I just hope they work on a way of getting it unstuck from buildings, nothing could stop you then.