this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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Two weeks ago, I had a date with a girl I met through a dating app. She was really nice, we had a great conversation and she told in person at the bar she would love to see me again.

Well fast forward a week, I keep texting her to set something up, but she's not responding. I think she's ghosted me. I mean, that's fine, but if you don't want to date me anymore, then just let me know. I will respect your decision.

Dating is so frustrating sometimes... It's really fucking hard and I sometimes feel lonely because of my lack of success. I have a good job and I'm a nice guy... but eh... I digress.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think it's pretty standard protocol for most women to say the date went well and they would like to meet up again when still face-to-face with the guy they're on the date with.
Minimise the risk of becoming a statistic, and all that.

For messaging with dates, I generally say 2 texts then let them respond (and that's not messages like "hey" "u up?" "Are you there??" But like actual content that they can engage with).

If they don't get back to you, don't take it personally. Just forget and move on.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't even ask them in person. I don't expect them to be honest if it's negative. It's generally been clear in the past if they were interested without me asking.

I do tend to ask after anyway or send a nice message to avoid ghosting. A vast majority women I've gone on a date haven't ghosted actually. The idea of leaving the ball in their court after a message or two is a good one.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah tbh you see that kind of thing with non-romantic conversations all the time as well. How many times has someone said "we should hang out more" and you say "yeah, totally!" even though you know you never will, lol.

Definitely a good idea to follow up after the date just to keep the lines of communication open. I don't buy into the whole "wait x amount of time" thing.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

If anything there should be a rule to follow up before a certain amount of time. Maybe not ask for another date but just saying you had a good time or if it didn't feel like things clicked.