this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2024
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If ye wish to climb the stairs,
Then first endure our three glares.
For moving, we aren't in the mood,
Though we may change our tune for food.
And a warning should our bowls lay empty,
Misfortune falls swift and plenty.
So please, appease us kitties three,
Lest ye wake in a bed of pee.
One of them always tells the truth, another always lies, and the last one bites your hand when petting their belly. Though that might be all of them.
They actually all lie about different things.
Grey cat likes to lie to get into the room you're in, if the door is closed, by pretending there's a horrific emergency on the other side of the door. "Help! Help! Let me into the bathroom with you! My agony shall not subside until I have access to this room! I am ill! I am dying!"
Stripey cat likes to open cupboard doors, cardboard boxes and then hunt, kill and eat pouches of wet cat food, then pretend it wasn't him at all, and he is hungry and hasn't eaten for days.
Black cat likes a more traditional "I've not been fed yet, I am starving", and also "I have no idea how the water bowl ended up upside down, but it looks like we're out of water again".
Thankfully, none of them will scratch or bite (at least not me or my partner). Black and stripey will both gently push your hand away when they've had enough tummy-tickle-time. Grey cat can be tickled for at least ten minutes. He just waits for you to get bored.
They sound like awesome cats!
I love that someone wrote a poem about our cats. Thank you.
I think they'll like it too - I fear they're growing tired of me singing "Who's a little black/stripey/silver cat with a fluffy little nosey-wose, who is a cat with a fluffity tail" to the tune of "Ride a White Swan" by T-Rex.
Hey, you're welcome! I just thought it would be a logistical nightmare to get past the cats without disturbing them in your picture, and my brain ran with the idea.
On a related note: Check out the book "I Could Pee on This, and Other Poems by Cats". It's a little book of poems from the perspective of cats.
Looks great, thanks! :)
Looking at some of the Excerpts from "I could pee on this and other poems by cats", I think ours are actually very well behaved (so far!).