this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2024
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Haha thanks for sharing. That takes guts I don't have man. When I said open-mic, I was just reciting a crappy political rant masqueraded as poetry at a coffee shop. Always admired comedians, and reading your other comment that rush to be on stage sure is something. Despite having been homeschooled up until university and generally quite introverted and shy of the spotlight, I never quite had a rush like coming off the stage after theater (a school partnership). The camaraderie with the cast was something special, too. Thought about combining crappy jokes I've had over the years and framing into an exaggerated homeschool persona, but that's merely a dream.
Theater in high school was exactly what gave me the courage to do it, although it was still scary for a long time. Honestly, that is also something that you have to work hard at to get over. Some people I've talked to think you just get up on stage and start talking. I don't know how it is now that everything is much more computerized, but in the 90s, every comedian I know had about 20 notebooks full of half-formed joke ideas and was constantly adding to that pile.
All of mine are long gone unfortunately. I'd like to look through them and see what I thought was funny 25 years go.
Also, thinking on it, the other thing that gave me the courage was that I was bullied a lot and it hardened me to people being assholes to me. And you can use someone being an asshole to you and turn it around on them if, again, you get practice at doing it. But yeah, between being in a lot of high school plays, thinking that there must be something to me being able to make people laugh, and my probably unfair but helpful "fuck these people, I'm funny god damn it" attitude were what got me through the open mic nights.
Going back to bombing, John Oliver was recently on one of the late night shows (forgive me, I can't remember which) and talked about bombing at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, which is basically the comedy event of the year in the UK and that every successful British comedian has bombed there. He bombed there so badly that a guy smashed a bottle and threatened to stab him if he told another joke. And he claimed that was absolutely true. Thankfully, nobody ever tried to kill me! That would have been my last gig ever. So I don't have the courage he has. All I got was "get off the stage, you're not funny!"
What was crazy for me at least was the intense, heart-pounding sympathetic anxiety leading up to walking out on stage... But the moment you hit the lights and enter into character — that all vanished... Then you exit the stage, it all comes back as a pure dopamine rush lol. I'll never forget that and can understand why so many rock stars suffer with constant ups and downs on tour that can lead to pretty intense biochemical imbalances.
Bummer you lost your notes, that sucks... Maybe you can find some old footage of those events at least?
Being bullied definitely makes one have some thicker skin. Because I was sheltered quite a bit for a while I was protected from a good bit of that; though that changed as I established relationships with local kids who went to the local public schools and got more involved in those circles. Having such an outsider view for so long has definitely given me a unique perspective, but has done little favors in terms of overcoming aversion to the spotlight. College helped me overcome this quite a bit. I tried to put myself out there, running clubs and doing presentations, etc. I found a process that worked for me in terms of preparation but don't ever ask me to improv lol. My wife is an absolute Robin Williams genius when it comes to improvisational wit. I keep encouraging her to do comedy.