this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2024
139 points (96.6% liked)

science

14902 readers
489 users here now

A community to post scientific articles, news, and civil discussion.

rule #1: be kind

<--- rules currently under construction, see current pinned post.

2024-11-11

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Men who identify as incels have "fundamental thinking errors" about what women want, research shows.

A study at Swansea University found incels - or involuntary celibates - overestimated physical attractiveness and finances, while underestimating kindness, humour and loyalty.

The study's co-author Andrew Thomas said "thinking errors" could "lead us down some quite troubling paths".

He said mental health support was crucial, as opposed to "demonisation".

The term refers to a community, largely online, of mainly heterosexual men frustrated by their inability to form romantic or sexual relationships.

The idea dates back more than 30 years and was popularised by a website offering support for lonely people who felt left behind.

Study: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2023.2248096

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] FrankTheHealer 6 points 10 months ago

Yup this makes sense.

I was on the path to becoming an incel before I met my ex gf. I was in my early twenties, overweight and hopeless with women. I am also autistic.

I was kinda stuck where I was with no idea of what I wanted in life or where I should focus my efforts.

The feeling I most often associated with my life from 18 to 21 was intense loneliness. Being told I'm a good looking guy that any girl would be lucky to have, yet being touch-starved to the point that I cried uncontrollably for for an hour when my ex held me for the first time.

To clarify, I never had any ill sentiments towards women, but I have seen how intense loneliness can absolutely fuck with ones mind. I was lucky that I met someone and was in a relationship for some time to actually properly learn all this about myself. But I can totally see how others would not be so lucky.

If you take a young adult male, who's lonely, touch starved even and doesn't know what they want from life, and then label them with a term like 'incel' that will only make them feel worse and push them further towards doing something terrible to themselves or others.

Unpopular and all as it might be, these men are people who deserve compassion and understanding. Not hatred and vitriol.