Maybe this is the wrong place to ask questions about how to be a good parent for adult kids, as I see a lot of questions here are regarding young kids, but I figured I'd ask here.
Long story short, I just got out of prison last year. I was in my son's life for his first 5 years, then I fucked up and got sent away. His mom went no contact with me then. A few years before I got out, I got a letter from my now-adult kid wanting to reconnect.
I am out now, but I just have no idea what I'm doing where he is concerned. He wants a father in his life, but I don't know how to be that person for him. It has been difficult to transition back to the 'real world' and I don't want to fuck up what little relationship we have.
He says he just wants to hang out, but like I don't even know what to say to him or talk about with him. Most of the time he does all the talking and I just listen but I'm worried that's not enough and that I should contribute to the conversation more, but I don't know what to say.
I never had a father figure in my life growing up, so I don't really have anyone in real life to ask (plus it's embarassing and I prefer the anonymity of the internet).
I have no intention of trying to 'parent' him, and I know I'm not role-model material, but he wants to hang out and I feel like every time it's very awkward and weird (we hung out 3-4 times since I got out). Should I just treat him like I would anyone I hang out with (friends, brother/sister), or do you think he is expecting something else, and what even would that be?
This is the advice i would take. You just need to get to know him. Once you break that ice and have something you share together, youll probably find things flow a lot easier. Sounds like he's keen to know his dad. Hes making the effort. You got this!!
Some suggestions to start creating those memories together. Outdoor Adventure: Plan a hiking or camping trip together. It provides an opportunity for bonding in a natural setting.
Sports or Exercise: Engage in a sport or workout routine together. It promotes a healthy lifestyle and fosters teamwork.
DIY Project: Start a home improvement or craft project. Working together towards a goal can strengthen your connection.
Gaming Night: Play video or board games together. It's a casual and enjoyable way to spend quality time.
Road Trip: Plan a road trip to explore new places. The shared experience of travel can create lasting memories.
Movie Marathon: Pick a movie series or a theme and have a movie marathon night. It's a relaxed way to enjoy each other's company.
Goal Setting: Discuss personal goals and aspirations. Supporting each other's ambitions can strengthen the parent-child relationship.
Memory makers: Theme parks, bowling.. Depending on age, clay pigeon shooting, archery, paintball (team up), minigolf, gokarting, escape rooms... Bike ride, board game night..
Just a few ideas. I hope it works out for you!!
These are all good ideas, thank you for posting them. I will try some of these out.