overview for JustAnotherName

The Daily Checkin For Tuesday January 9th - Just For Today, We Are NOT Drinking! in c/stopdrinking

[–] JustAnotherName 3 points 10 months ago

I won't drink today

How to be a good dad to my older child when I wasn't around for his childhood in c/dadvice

[–] JustAnotherName 3 points 10 months ago

Thank you for this, some of these things are good ideas, some, for me, not so much ('do crazy things') haha

How to be a good dad to my older child when I wasn't around for his childhood in c/dadvice

[–] JustAnotherName 3 points 10 months ago

Thank you for your perspective, it is very helpful. I know just sitting there isn't enough, which is why I asked for advice here. I am just not a big talker and I don't want to him think I'm not interested in him because I am and I want to be present in his life. I will try to plan to do something together with him instead of just sitting around.

How to be a good dad to my older child when I wasn't around for his childhood in c/dadvice

[–] JustAnotherName 2 points 10 months ago

These are all good ideas, thank you for posting them. I will try some of these out.

How to be a good dad to my older child when I wasn't around for his childhood in c/dadvice

[–] JustAnotherName 2 points 10 months ago

Thank you for your good advice. He's a smart guy and I definitely don't plan on going anywhere, I intend to remain in his life as long as he'll allow it.

23

How to be a good dad to my older child when I wasn't around for his childhood (self.dadvice)

submitted 10 months ago by JustAnotherName to c/dadvice

10 comments fedilink

Maybe this is the wrong place to ask questions about how to be a good parent for adult kids, as I see a lot of questions here are regarding young kids, but I figured I'd ask here.

Long story short, I just got out of prison last year. I was in my son's life for his first 5 years, then I fucked up and got sent away. His mom went no contact with me then. A few years before I got out, I got a letter from my now-adult kid wanting to reconnect.

I am out now, but I just have no idea what I'm doing where he is concerned. He wants a father in his life, but I don't know how to be that person for him. It has been difficult to transition back to the 'real world' and I don't want to fuck up what little relationship we have.

He says he just wants to hang out, but like I don't even know what to say to him or talk about with him. Most of the time he does all the talking and I just listen but I'm worried that's not enough and that I should contribute to the conversation more, but I don't know what to say.

I never had a father figure in my life growing up, so I don't really have anyone in real life to ask (plus it's embarassing and I prefer the anonymity of the internet).

I have no intention of trying to 'parent' him, and I know I'm not role-model material, but he wants to hang out and I feel like every time it's very awkward and weird (we hung out 3-4 times since I got out). Should I just treat him like I would anyone I hang out with (friends, brother/sister), or do you think he is expecting something else, and what even would that be?

The Daily CheckIn for Wednesday, October 4th: Just for Today, We are NOT Drinking! in c/stopdrinking

[–] JustAnotherName 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I will not drink today, but I'm not gonna pretend I'm happy about it. I decided to try the "Sober October" challenge and I've only managed 1 day so far (I did not drink yesterday). I've realized I'm just getting too old to drink the way I have been for a long time, and I honestly feel sad that I'm going to have to leave that lifestyle behind, because I've always enjoyed drinking and had a lot of fun doing it (judge me if you want to, I don't care), but I just can't hang the way I used to, and it's bumming me out.