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And that's how I met your mother (lemmy.zip)

submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] effward 79 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The annoying thing is that the annoying guys are more likely to get a date, while they just go about their day. Not because they are better, or because their methods are good, but purely because they approach more people.

I hate making people feel uncomfortable (no matter their gender), so I always struggled finding "spontaneous" dates, or even dancing with strangers at a club/party.

The only thing that really worked for me was using dating apps, where both parties have implicitly indicated that they are looking for dates in general (because they're on the app) and explicitly indicated that they are interested in each other (by liking their profile, or whatever).

Although I've heard the apps have all gotten worse lately, I wouldn't really know, as I found someone on Tinder years ago, and now we're happily married.

[–] Gonzako 33 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I'll be honest, as long as you don't make it weird you can approach a lot of people be they're on the job or not. If they're on the job just ask them about the journey so far. Like, they're also human you can treat them as such.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Nah. Everyone I'm attracted to either better know it by my silence or well never be together

[–] Gonzako 14 points 6 months ago

Wow, what a relief, I thought you were into me

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I’ll be honest, as long as you don’t make it weird you can approach a lot of people be they’re on the job or not

Nah, people talk. If it's known that you've approached many people, you'll get an automatic rejection from the rest.

[–] FlyingSquid 0 points 6 months ago (1 children)

If it’s known that you’ve approached many people,

Unless you live in Buttfuck Montana, how would that be known?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

We're talking within a work place. People do talk to each other.

[–] FlyingSquid 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yes, and if I have my headphones on at work, that means I'm focusing on something and you shouldn't bother me unless it's important. That's what it means for most people. It certainly doesn't mean "this is a good time to ask me out."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Tell that to people impervious to subtlety.

But I meant that if you ask out a lot of persons at work, all the others will know and they'll reject you preemptively.