this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2023
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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[–] CADmonkey 228 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Men, proudly drag that battered and cracked android phone out on the first date, it's a litmus test for shallow people, apparently.

I went on a first date with a girl I met from work. She farted loud enough to be heard over drunken yelling and music in the steakhouse we were in, immediately after saying "I don't get embarassed".

In a couple of weeks, we will have been together for 16 years. We've been married for 14 years. We cook together every evening, we hold each other whenever we are in the same room for more than five minutes, and on the rare nights where we aren't taking each other's clothes off, we fall asleep wrapped around each other. I would have missed out on a perfect relationship if I had judged her for a phone.

[–] [email protected] 77 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago

RIP craigslist personals

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago (1 children)

In your situation, it had nothing to do with a phone, haha. Swell on you for not judging her though.

[–] CADmonkey 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Judging someone for a bodily function is just stupid.

[–] FlyingSquid 4 points 11 months ago

I take it with a grain of salt because he's a humorist, but in Dave Barry Does Japan, his wife tells him at one point, "I heard three farts today. It's okay here." I haven't read that book in decades and I still remember that line because I thought, how nice to live in a place where people don't hide basic bodily functions.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago

I’m gonna have to get myself an old android phone I suppose

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

But you see, you had genders swapped here. It’s OK for a woman to show hers, just don’t show yours (/s, obviously)

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

/s but not really. Men aren’t supposed to have standards when it comes to women according to many women

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Aren't allowed to have standards...cuz womenz can do absolutely anything and men MUST luuuurve them...right?