this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2023
119 points (92.8% liked)
Asklemmy
43965 readers
1864 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
A computer with lists of winning lottery numbers, stock prices by day of all major companies, archived copies of webpages or, preferably, scanned in newspaper articles of all world events from 1999 until now, and lists of every politician and individual with net worths over $300 million.
Also patents for LCD screens, the microchips in use in the 10's and now, the efficient solar panels China cranks out if I can get a hold of that information, modern efficient wind turbines, etc. Also important scientific papers written between then and now, especially for Ozempic and Wegovy.
Also, this might be the one practical use for dumb shit like Chat GPT and its ilk, so we're bringing along a couple of GPUs and copies of each major open source AI I can scramble up.
I use this information to:
Hopefully prevent 9/11
Become filthy fucking rich
Infiltrate the elite and start bumping off motherfuckers one by one Count of Monte Cristo style
Distribute my ill gotten gains to the masses and use the rest to stop climate collapse
#EatTheRich
Please don’t get rid of 9/11, without it we wouldn’t have WKUK
They are so talented they did not need 9/11 to have a hilarious TV show
9/11 was happening so they ran into a dorm room that could see the towers from the window
That room ended up being Timmy’s
Okay, if it's that important just throw a party and introduce them that way.
If you need them to trauma bond, kidnap the fuckers, pistol whip them a little bit and then let them escape from their own ingenuity.
:O I could never hurt Timmy Weems
If you put it on a scale between bruising Timmys face with the butt of a pistol and saving 3,000 lives on one day and tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands of lives in the interim between due to the post 9/11 increase in American policing and military actions in other countries, then not pistol whipping him would be a crime against humanity for which you should be tried at the Hague and hung.