I just want to vent a bit - I started seeing someone a few weeks ago. Old fling that I ran into through some friends that got rekindled, and I was excited that it seemed like more than just casual hookups this time. But there were some yellow flags I ignored that turned out to be red flags, and now I'm feeling frustrated and hurt.

Dude for real dropped the line that men are more "capable" and "logical" on me. That gender studies are "indoctrination." I told him we should probably stop seeing each other if that's really what he thinks. It wouldn't be logical for me to keep seeing someone that thinks lesser of me, now, would it?

I'm grateful to have some guy friends that I turned to after I left, cuz I wanted to go into "fuck all men" mode, but I know it's not true or helpful. Just like there are women out there that have internalized misogyny, there's feminist men, enbies, etc. We're all just people and we're not monoliths beholden to differences in biology. This is just sexist, manosphere bullshit in particular

Anyway. I'm still feeling angry and wanted to put it out there for some support and solidarity. Anyone have a recent win they'd like to share or something?

ETA: Thank you so much for the conversation y'all! I've been trying to keep up but I gotta get some sleep. I'll check in later but hope everyone has a good day. Keep up the empowerment! 💜

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[–] Teodomo 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

Hey, since you asked to share wins we've had in this regard:

Not a woman, but something that has occasionally worked for me is sharing this one article. It's called The magical thinking of guys who love logic.

It sometimes works with those guys that believe that men are inherently more logical than women like the one you mentioned. Though in my experience this article is most effective with atheist men and not so much with religious men, since it has a bit of a focus on criticizing a type of militant online atheism (a superficial type of atheism I might add and one that paradoxically reproduces a sort of puritan mindset masked under progressivism, much like TERFism, sex-negative "progressives" and some other current mindsets). It also works best if the guys on question are already a bit open to criticism (or at least like to pretend they are open-minded) since the article starts with a tone of criticizing right-wing ideologies.

[–] AnalogyAddict 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

The most emotional people I know have been logic-worshiping men.

Almost like denying your emotion keeps you from checking it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Anger is clearly not an emotion /s

[–] kofe 3 points 11 months ago

I've bookmarked it to check it out later, sounds interesting af. Thank you!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Ooof. As a former new atheist who still believes in logic, reason, and rationality, this article is the truth. If there's anything I learned from my time with the New Atheists, it's that I need other people to help me realize when I'm wrong.

My moment of clarity came when Sam Harris, who I really looked up to, started advocating for torture of Muslims because Islam was inherently bad. That really rubbed me the wrong way, even after 9/11.

[–] Teodomo 2 points 11 months ago

Yep. I still value reason and particularly science as one of the important guiding principles in my life, though it can't be the only one. Empathy, for example, is incredibly important, as is being open to one's own emotions.

I was lucky to not fall into that movement as a teen though, mostly because I was outside of the US cultural sphere of influence back then I assume.