this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2023
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I find the sheer enormity of the scale of both time and space terrifying
But why? How is it a threat to you?
I find it mind boggling, and inspires me to live my life by paying attention to what matters only.
I don't really have a good answer for this and frankly it's probably not rational or coherent or succinct so I'll just say it comes down to mortality, knowing how small and insignificant we are and desperately clinging to a meaningless life on a meaningless planet in a meaningless etc. etc. etc.
There's so much out there that we don't know and probably never will and it's all growing faster than we could ever hope to catch up with and we'll all be dead so soon relative to the lifespan of the universe and it'll just keep going on long after our meat sacks stop functioning and turn into nothingness until maybe everything turns into nothingness and then there's never anything ever again or maybe that won't happen but we'll all still be long, long gone.
Well, when you put it like that, yup. I can relate.
I've been trying to come to terms with it by thinking (or trying to convince myself) that this curiosity and willingness to observe everything and learn all things are just evolutionary adaptations whose sole purpose is to survive. Like, our curiosity to explore pushed us to get to better places with better living conditions. But that survival function is now too overfitted, like cancer cells that just replicate and replicate and replicate.... strange analogy, I know. So there's nothing inherently of value in having such attributes. "Why are we here? Where are we going?" So deep! Hm, nope. We're just machines programmed to survive by just searching, searching, searching, and finding, and understanding, and harnessing, and..... searching and searching and searching.
Anyway. Then I stop thinking about that and go make myself a sandwich.