this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2023
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I realized why I like friendships with lesbians (self.general)
submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by whaleross to c/general
39 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I'm a middle aged heterosexual man and I've been in various circles in my life where I've had lesbian friends and acquaintances. I was just thinking how much I've appreciated those interactions and how I currently miss having lesbians around me. Not because we stopped being friends, mind you, but due to my dynamic life and me being shit at staying in touch I've floated away from people that I appreciate.

Anyway, then I started thinking why is that? Am I fetishizing lesbians, craving what I can't get etc? I like women who are confident so is it a sexual or psychosexual thing? It made me a bit worried because that does not sound very nice, Freud and mothers and all that jazz... But then I realized that this is not why.

It's because they don't act and treat me like a man, like a male person, like a sexuality - but that for them I'm 100% a person. If I'm entertaining or funny or interesting, it's because I am entertaining or funny or interesting. No interference from deep rooted primate reproductive brain behaviour, and at the rare occasion it's popped up, it's something we can play off and dismiss.

Even though I have and always had women friends, it's a different thing. Regardless our relationship, I'm always a man. It's inescapable. My friendships with lesbians have always had this special vibe. It's like what I'd imagine a good sibling be like, but I wouldn't know because I'm a lone child.

Yeah, I miss that vibe.

Edit: thanks autocorrect

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[–] Dasnap 68 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I imagine it's similar with gay men that join women's social circles.

[–] whaleross 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, and probably with the more stereotypical common "fag hag" (is that offensive nowadays? the ones I've know have used the terminology on themselves back in the day), straight women that hang around with gay guys.

[–] HeapOfDogs 12 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Fag Hag is approved, continue with your fabulous self

[–] whaleross 2 points 11 months ago

<3 thanks

[–] thegreatgarbo 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Is there the other version for straight men with lesbian friends, ie OP?

[–] whaleross 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Fag Hag, as I understand it, is the term for women that predominantly seek out and integrate with a crowd of gay men to party with. Being straight and having one or a few gay friends doesn't make anyone anything.