this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2023
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Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.

Right now, here’s the rules:

  1. Posts must include an image or video containing food or drink.
  2. It must be unusual or cursed in some way. a. For example, something like Doritos Milk would be unusual, but normal milk would not.
  3. No AI posts whatsoever, and any images that were altered (Ex: Photoshop, Gimp) need to be tagged.

How to tag: To tag your posts, please prepend or append the tag name inside square brackets. For example,[OC] Foo bar baz or foo bar baz [Meta] would be acceptable. Multiple tags will require separate pairs of brackets, like so: [Edited][OC] foo bar baz

Here are the current tags:

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(BTW, I’m looking for someone to help mod here! I myself would not be enough if this community goes beyond a few posts a day.)

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I’m from small-town Iowa originally. My grandma made many of these “Midwest Salads”.

I went back for a funeral a few years ago. The was a reception/lunch at our old church. I got a serving of something that looked like jello with cream cheese on top, seemed interesting. But no, it was jello with mandarin oranges in it, and it wasn’t cream cheese, but about a quarter-inch of Miracle Whip on top, sprinkled with grated carrots. I took a bite, smiled, turned to my wife, and said, “I’m home again!”

[–] asteriskeverything 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I mean jello with fruits and whipped cream doesn't sound offensive? I guess just calling it a salad could be.

[–] Slowy 24 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

Unfortunately miracle whip is more like an odd tangy mayonnaise and it has no business in a dessert

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

Lol I misread it as cool whip, because who the hell would put miracle whip on that!

Cool whip still sucks compared to whipped cream, but it would still make a decent dessert. Miracle whip though, yuck

[–] asteriskeverything 8 points 11 months ago

Colored me embarrassed, my culinary ignorance is showing.

Yeah, that unfortunately makes way more gross sense

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

You forgot that miracle whip is Satans anal palp. This message brought to you by several generations of matriachal induced trauma.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Very midwest. Sounds like my grandmother's jello with celery in it.