this post was submitted on 27 Oct 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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So this dude is basically a 46 year old man child and I don't wanna armchair diagnose people, but he's probably on the spectrum.

He'll say a pun or a "funny" phrase, stare at you till you acknowledge it, then when you do, he'll just keep saying it over and over. Even if you don't acknowledge it he'll say it a bunch then switch to a new one.

He's obsessed with making fart noises then pretending it's someone else he'll even do it while we're eating lunch. I've tried the politely asking him to stop he just says "oh you know I'm just joking" then when I tell him its genuinely annoying he goes full kicked puppy and acts super sad for a few hours and gets all woe is me saying stuff like "oh well I guess everyone hates me I'll just shut up forever". Sometimes he even goes full non verbal and literally just tries to communicate by pointing and or writing notes.

It's not like he's an asshole he a genuinely good guy he's good at his job and he's got your back when you need it.

I guess I just have a hard time finding the balance between not being an ass to a guy with zero social skills and losing my sanity because he can't be quiet for 5 minutes.

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[–] BallsInTheShredder 27 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Am actually super experienced in this. I've been the fart maker, I've been the manager, I've been the co-worker tolerating it. Here's what you do.

Call a team meeting, preferably with HR discussing behavior similar to this, without pinpointing fart jokes but close enough that the message gets across. Maybe say there have been anonymous complaints. Definitely do if possible this will come in handy later.

With step one done, here's how you deal. If at all possible, develop a bond with the guy, pretend to like the fart jokes. Maybe even make one or two yourself so he feels you're in this together.

Then, when you tell him to stop, blame HR.

"Haha! Oh, how I love our fart jokes mr.man, but we should lay off of them before HR calls us in!"

"Can't let you get fired over that, I need you here bud, not fired over a fart joke haha"

This typically has worked from what I've seen. When you make someone else, especially a company, the "big bad" and get people to feel like you're on their side/fighting for them they're typically more willing to bend a little bit.