this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2023
43 points (92.2% liked)
ADHD
9701 readers
6 users here now
A casual community for people with ADHD
Values:
Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.
Rules:
- No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
- No porn, gore, spam, or advertisements allowed.
- Do not request for donations.
- Do not link to other social media or paywalled content.
- Do not gatekeep or diagnose.
- Mark NSFW content accordingly.
- No racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, or ageism.
- Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
- Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
- Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).
Encouraged:
- Funny memes.
- Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
- Questions on confusing situations.
- Seeking and sharing support.
- Engagement in our values.
Relevant Lemmy communities:
lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I think I'm borderline ADD, but never felt the need to see a doctor. My personal workflow is to "assume I forget everything by tomorrow". Each day, assume that "tomorrow me" is a completely different person who has forgotten what I was doing today. This sounds debilitating, and probably is for normies who can rely upon their memory to keep them motivated on a daily basis. But ADD people cannot do this.
What's the solution?
You need to build and retain one key habit. Keep a notebook that contains the notes from yesterday (or even a few hours ago), that you can consult. While our memories / motivation suck, our habits are something you can reliably change.
It doesn't have to be a physical notebook, it might just be a notepad.txt file on your computer desktop. It might be a blog, it might be a word.doc file. Or in my case, it really is a physical notebook that I write into repeatedly and spend a decent bit of time rewriting important bits. (Note: tomorrow me isn't going to read more than 1 or 2 pages behind. This means I need to rewrite important data over-and-over again to where the bookmark is).
Yes, this means you effectively have a daily memory that consists of no more than 2 pages, maybe 3 pages (or whatever "tomorrow you" will reliably read). That's fine. Work with that. Build the habit and continuously reference the notebook. Write notes to yourself, future you, about what you were doing, where you've come from, words of encouragement. That's all you need, just one or two pages worth of "memory". Never shy away from rewriting important things. Always remember that you only have a 1 or 2 pages worth of attention at best, so rewriting is key to carrying memories / motivations over more than a day ago.
You still have to work on the habit though and you can fall off the habit if you get lazy. But habits are something easier to keep than actual memory or motivation in my experience.
My problem is more the actual motivation (executive dysfunction really) than memory, I can usually look back at what I was doing enough to pick it back up later. I try to add things to a notepad on my phone when I remember it exists and I should do it, but having things written down doesn’t seem to have a ton of impact on whether or not it will be completed. I don’t really understand how this helps you get the motivation to actually do these things, but it probably depends on what it is we each struggle with. How does memory keep you motivated? By reminding you of why you care about doing something maybe?
Try to get a dopamine fix early in the day, not something extra, like going to a gym, but change something like taking a hard fast walk to work or local shop for bread/ milk instead of a car.
Spent a large portion of my life riding motorbikes hard, adhd didn't bother me until I couldn't ride bikes.
I struggle with doing anything beyond the bare necessities to get out the door in the morning before work, cause night person in a day world. But I do have the very brisk morning walks when I’m running a few minutes late (often). At work I have extrinsic motivation so that’s usually fine, but doing things to take care of my life self and growth after work I am often pretty useless. Do you think trying to get dopamine up again after work?
Often it’s most efficient for me to to just slide right into chores when I get home without losing my work vibe/fast state, but it’s tiring, and tends to push eating and drinking down the priority list even further… I feel just poorly balanced in general. But I’m not medicated or even properly diagnosed, just strongly suspected and waiting for my assessment in the next few months.
I mean, if motivation is the problem not much can help with that.
But in my case, its memory. I literally cannot consistently remember what I'm doing. So that's what the system is there for... at least solving the memory problem.
My psychology teacher points out that habits are very different from higher-level brain stuff. You might not be able to solve the motivation problem per se, but you can at least grow a habit to work off the list consistently. Building new habits is something well within the means of everybody (even those with physical damage to their brains who have lost a fair amount of functions). So "trust in habits".
Habits aren't motivation. But they're still something that (if you build up and work at it), will consistently get you to check that list over-and-over again each day. And that's enough. But its not easy to build a habit. And remember, habits aren't motivation, they aren't memory, they aren't... a lot of things. They're just that, a habit. That nagging feeling that you should do something (like closing a door when you leave your house. You've gained the habit, right? I'm sure you've failed before at it, but ADD / ADHD folk can gain habits)
Yes, it’s true the few things I have habits for are the ones I can do pretty consistently, not 100% of course, and sometimes I get the feeling after I already walked out the door and have to go back and check lol. I do agree that habits and schedules and stuff can be really good for people with adhd but they are also really difficult to self- impose. I used to have a sticky note posted in my house somewhere prominent to remind me of some things I should do every day, like drink water, but eventually it gets moved or passed over or I’m in a hurry a few days in a row and it’s gone. I’m not trying to be defeatist, I know there are strategies to help, and I appreciate any and all advice, as I’m definitely in need of some changes.
I have some memory issues, but are less significant than motivation and concentration. The psychiatrist that diagnosed me seems to believe that my memory issues are related to concentration. But as I said on other comment, I will try it anyways and if it helps i would be nice!
Thanks for taking a moment and write something!