this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2023
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The constant limiting yourself in what you eat and how much you eat, never really feeling full, always having to savour every tiny bite of what you love to eat because there's only a small amount...Yeah that's not really happiness either. I lost 75lbs five years ago, and this is still how i feel. Sure, my energy levels are higher and I'm less exhausted, but I'm 100% not any happier than i was back then. It's just other stuff that's sucking the joy out of life now.
Be unhappy with an unhealthy body with a huge gut, saggy arse and man boobs or be unhappy with an attractive healthy body.
If I'm going to be unhappy either way, I still know which I'd choose.
I'm not sure I would bother with the massive effort it is to change lifestyle like that, if i got fat again. It's fine to maintain now that i have it, no need to revert back in to old habits. But i can't unequivocally say it's worth the effort to make that change.
It sounds like you are weary in general. I feel for you. I know that feeling. But you cannot teleport back in time to skip getting healthy so it's a moot point. And I think you know deep down you'd feel even worse if you could. If you're at a low point right now, remember those don't last forever. I hope any low points you experience aren't too long or rough.
It sounds like you expect some one thing to make you "happy". That isn't a thing. Also, it sounds like your story is similar to mine except your perspective is different. Remember, it's not normal as far as human history goes to have extremely calorie dense food everywhere all the time in large portions. It's also not normal to be able to easily get through a day without doing anything physical, even taking under 1000 steps the whole day. So while you see it as some miserable extra steps and responsibilities you have to take that make you unhappy, I see it as a responsibility I have to take upon myself because society as a whole is driven by excess. I don't have to get "extra" exercise or watch what I eat because life is unfair. I have to do it because humans, particularly Americans, have no sense of limitations anymore. We're batshit insane. We've forgotten that even having access to 2000 calories a day is a luxury, not a prison.
No one thing will make you happy, but I know for sure I was more depressed every day feeling like that, also knowing that literally no one I ever found attractive would feel the same about me. Once I lost all the weight, getting dates was much easier and I even got myself into long term relationships for the first time. I actually feel like I was cheated in life because no one ever told me I was fat. I 100% was. I was treated as "normal" and at the same time I think people pitied and avoided me subconsciously
I don't want to assume, but it seems to me that you haven't really changed your relationship to food on an emotional level. I lost a lot of weight and don't feel like you at all, because I changed my relationship to food to one of fuel instead of comfort or fun. It's not easy, but it's important. And it's not like I hate food or anything, I still like food obviously, but when I'm filling up my plate for dinner I put enough on it to feed my actual physical hunger, not some emotional hunger for dopamine. The fact that it's delicious is an added bonus, not the main event.
Savouring bites shouldn't be something you feel like you "have" to do but should be something you enjoy to do. Mindful eating. Small bites, chew thoroughly, enjoy all of the flavors. If you eat slower and chew your food properly it has many benefits: improved digestion, improved nutrient intake, better enjoyment of all of the diverse flavors, you notice that you are actually full when you get full and not after you have eaten far more than your body needs.
This is not a chore, it makes eating far more enjoyable. And if you eat when you're actually hungry instead of just when you habitually eat, the food tastes even better. You make these things sound bad, but they are one of my favorite parts of life. I love eating more than I used to and I eat far less than I used to.