memes

It sounds like you expect some one thing to make you "happy". That isn't a thing. Also, it sounds like your story is similar to mine except your perspective is different. Remember, it's not normal as far as human history goes to have extremely calorie dense food everywhere all the time in large portions. It's also not normal to be able to easily get through a day without doing anything physical, even taking under 1000 steps the whole day. So while you see it as some miserable extra steps and responsibilities you have to take that make you unhappy, I see it as a responsibility I have to take upon myself because society as a whole is driven by excess. I don't have to get "extra" exercise or watch what I eat because life is unfair. I have to do it because humans, particularly Americans, have no sense of limitations anymore. We're batshit insane. We've forgotten that even having access to 2000 calories a day is a luxury, not a prison.

No one thing will make you happy, but I know for sure I was more depressed every day feeling like that, also knowing that literally no one I ever found attractive would feel the same about me. Once I lost all the weight, getting dates was much easier and I even got myself into long term relationships for the first time. I actually feel like I was cheated in life because no one ever told me I was fat. I 100% was. I was treated as "normal" and at the same time I think people pitied and avoided me subconsciously