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[The Guardian] There is no moral high ground for Reddit as it seeks to capitalise on user data
(www.theguardian.com)
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You're right about the difficulty in running the mail software on a server you administer, but hosting companies can take care of that for you. It's not hard to run your own mall service, if you go with service as a service instead of rolling your own infrastructure.
I've got no less than 5 different domains with my own email service, and I don't have to deal with the complexities you reference. My hosting provider handles that for me.