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[The Guardian] There is no moral high ground for Reddit as it seeks to capitalise on user data
(www.theguardian.com)
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It's not that simple with mail. Most centralized mail servers have strict requirements for domains that they will not sort into spam, and if you are sending a lot of mail from your personal server, you will probably end up on a spam list. I don't do it, so I am not an expert, but hosting your own email server to do anything useful is pretty complicated.
Still, I guess you could argue that this is as it should be, as it prevents people from making spam servers, while still theoretically not being impacted that much for personal use servers. But I don't personally know anyone who seriously hosts their own email server anymore.
You're right about the difficulty in running the mail software on a server you administer, but hosting companies can take care of that for you. It's not hard to run your own mall service, if you go with service as a service instead of rolling your own infrastructure.
I've got no less than 5 different domains with my own email service, and I don't have to deal with the complexities you reference. My hosting provider handles that for me.