politics

y'all every time I hear something else
about Lauren bobert I've become more and
more convinced that we somehow went to
high school together you know like I
know this person man I do because see
I'm of the Whiskey Tango persuasion and
as such I know another trash monster
when I see one okay I mean you know it's
not like she tries to hide it she just
got kicked out of a theater in Denver
for vaping and hollering stuff you know
my fellow trailer Americans I ask you
who Among Us right I mean we do that we
do you know get a little too excited at
a public event start cussing in front of
the eight-year-olds then acting dignant
when the bouncer shows up but what is it
illegal to have a good time now I
thought this was America right I know
I've been there myself I have now
granted I wasn't a congressperson at the
time I was 22 Hammer drunk and the
Titans were losing again but still I've
been there now but I'm just saying
bobert checks so many red ass boxes it's
insane you know like she was born in
Florida aka the Fertile Crescent of
crazy crackers right to attain mom natch
she grew up on welfare and food stamps
she dropped out High School when she
herself got knocked up now that baby's
having a baby so she's a 36 year old
mammal she married then divorced a guy
who wouldn't stop pulling his dick out
in public she's always talking [ __ ]
about having a gun in her purse and she
has an ongoing feud with the other
craziest [ __ ] in town that is some top
shelf trashery right there y'all like
you just know she claims her Grandma's
one-quarter Cherokee right you just know
it and I'm saying all that makes me wish
that I could root for this person kinda
I do you know like if she was out here
actually standing up for the little guy
taking the elites down a peg Reed and
stuff knowing facts [ __ ] like that I'd
be all for it I'm like hell yeah finally
some representation right but she's not
no bobert's dedicated her life to being
wrong out loud every time she talks it's
like the chat GPT of harmful ignorance
she outwardly hates other marginalized
groups she screws over our own people by
trying to take away the same government
benefit programs that kept her alive as
a child Lord I cannot stand a ladder
puller y'all drives me crazy around like
I'm saying I don't I don't hate Lauren
bobert because she's white trash I hate
her because she's a piece of [ __ ] right
and I know some of y'all are going to
hear that and be like well that's a
little redundant but it's not it's
really not okay some of the most genuine
kindest most empathetic people I've ever
known were trailer babies and an
affinity for Mountain Dew and the early
works of Limp Biscuit does not change
that fact okay this country would do
well to have a chamber full of them but
alas it is not to be no instead we're
stuck with boberts and bobert is just
another loudmouth vindictive [ __ ] who
somehow took all the wrong lessons away
from her life and now spends her time
spewing misplaced rage and making us all
look bad it's a damn shame
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what's up YouTube we're back hope you
didn't mind that ad too much this I was
thinking I was trying to think like do
we have any good you know like trailer
trash representation in Congress you
know and I couldn't I figured I might be
forgetting somebody I tried to Google it
but that's hard if you Google Congress
and trash you mostly just get a bunch of
articles about either Republicans being
called trash or Republicans being mad
that they were called trash you know or
like journalistic socioeconomic you know
studies about how it's bad to call
people trash which I firmly disagree
with look I mean as long as you're trash
you can call people track anyway made it
hard to come up with any good results
and I might be forgetting somebody but I
was thinking I don't know who we have we
need some representation in there at
first I thought it was fetterman you
know that one of the reasons I love
fetterman so much is I was like this is
one of my people right here looked it up
still think Federal is great but like
his daddy was rich he's from an affluent
suburb he went to Harvard all this stuff
it's actually kind of typical
senatorship but I but I thought about it
you know what no I don't care I'm
anointed again he's honorary trash all
right look he's earned it he's not he's
done all that Real Deal Blue Collar
working class stuff you got all them
tattoos he looks like he wrestles at the
county fair right he's always wearing a
hoodie and cargo shorts the official
attire of Burley winter time trash
everywhere all right he's one of us
we're claiming him okay that's why I
decided we're claiming John Federman
whether he likes it or not he's trash
now but in a good way the good kind you
know what I'm saying he's a trash
Champion that's what he is trash
champion John Federman put that on a
sign anyway
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chicken see you bye