this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2023
53 points (83.5% liked)

Ask Lemmy

25226 readers
1887 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

We're all so bad at communicating and it is the bottleneck in most relationships, workplaces, and in politics.

We talk past each others when we argue. We're bad at definining the stuff we argue and talk about. We're bad at ignoring the pedantic stuff and focusing on the "spirit" of the argument.

At the workplace I feel the ability to share information to all the relevant parties without it being noisy has never been solved in big corporations. It is either a free-for-all situation where you're expected to read hundred of emails, answer anyone anytime, go in tons of meeting, OR to work in complete silos where you only talk to a supervisor once in a blue moon.

In friendships you have people who talk but don't listen and people who listen and don't talk. Oversharers, bullshiters, people who can't get to the point, people who gives 5 minutes of context and disordered information for every little things. Friends who mumble, or who don't finish half their sentences.

In relationships we let unresolved issues become taboos, and we let petty stuff buildup because we can't addresss it without anyone feeling attacked.

Communication is important, as you've already been told by a poster or an HR person, but I rarely see people actively try to better themselves in that area, nor the corporations I worked at. You won't have anything durable without it, or anything capable of scaling efficiently.

I am probably very bad at it too, for the simple reason that virtually all the people I know are ever good at best at a few aspects of it. I am self-conscious about communicating properly but I too probably suck at it and I have my blind spots just like everyone else. For this reason, this is the thing I hate about everyone, we can't communicate for shit and we don't even realize it most of the time.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

What's most frustrating about it is that even when I try to help others see that this is the real cause of friction between us - that poor communication or misunderstanding is the real cause of our arguments, many if not most would still fight me that I'm wrong and they're right and it's like nobody wants to reach a solution, they'd rather forever spin in the accusations