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To a degree you can override Googles choices, including running your own private Android version.
With iOS you must take what Apple gives.
Not really, there's degoogled ROMs that run on different smartphones: CalyxOS, DivestOS, iodéOS, /e/... But it is generally recognised that the best one for privacy AND security is GrapheneOS, which indeed only runs on Pixel phones.
Good idea. Take your time to look into them and decide what suits you better. Each of them has a different range of compatible devices. I might have also missed some other ROMs, so it's worth reading more (although I deliberately skipped LineageOS because it is not fully degoogled).
I am personally running iodéOS for more than a year now and I'm quite happy with it.
Apple earns 4 billion a year from ads and growing.
Then I recommend buying the Pinephone (or similar Linux phones). Everything else is immoral software controlled by Google or Apple.