Hey. I was told having issues controlling anger or emotions in general can be related to ADHD. I know I get WAY angrier than anyone should ever be sometimes.
Especially when injustice and ignorance come my way. I get furious beyond anything I've ever seen or heard of anyone else talk about. Maybe aside from depictions of killers or berserkers in fiction. It's not cool.
Only a few times have I gotten in trouble for it luckily and I never actually done anything more than shout the most disgusting insults at someone.
Now I do feel bad afterwards if I got angry at someone I like. But often enough I feel they fucking deserved it. If someone is an ignorant asshole willingly ruining someone's day, week or life they deserve some ruin thrown back at them. I know this might not be a good and healthy thing to think. But if someone provokes someone don't they ask to be yelled at?
I know they do this to 'win the argument' because of that imo idiotic notion that who yells first is wrong. But honestly I rarely care to be right enough for shit to matter.
I've read a few books on anger management and some techniques help a bit. But the amount of anger described in the book seems so very mild to me in comparison to what I experience and how fast it builds up. One book told me to count to three. I am ready to launch nukes before I reach 1. That won't work.
And I don't get angry at something. I have pure rage and fury, hatred and contempt for existence itself at those moments. Angry really doesn't cut it. It's scorched earth, blown it all up and piss on the ruins kind of anger.
So anyone else experience this? Any tips to deal with this shit?
Sounds like an emotional dysregulation and impulse control thing. Both ADHD "features".
I also get angry over injustice / unfairness but not furious just kind of angry. (Curious now if this is more common among ADHD folks). I don't lose it.
What makes me really angry is frustration. And what makes me go ballistic is frustration with something I am doing not going well (especially wrenching on a car) to the point where it feels like the universe is just trying to humiliate me. That's what ends up with me screaming and throwing things. Not good. Really not good. I have come to recognize when I am having one of those days and quit long before it gets to that point.
My dad (not diagnosed but c'mon) had a really scary temper at least to kid me. Oof. Getting more angry than normal is not great for people around you. Realizing I was turning into my dad with anger, and having a kid, I didn't want her to be terrified of me. So I've taking various steps.
As for people deserving being yelled at... Idk. I would caution against it. How do you know it is proportional given emotional dysregulation and impulse control issues we tend to suffer?
Is yelling really productive? More than storming off and then discussing later when more calm?
Also, if your friends are being assholes to the point where a reasonable person would be compelled to yell at them... Maybe they are just shitty people and not great friend material. Otherwise maybe you're overreacting. I have no idea.
Best wishes. This aspect (among others) is damn curse.