this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2025
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Honk motherfucker (lemmy.ca)
submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] chonglibloodsport 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Have you ever met a Canada goose up close? Those things are the literal spawn of Satan.

The campus of my Alma mater is home to a very large flock that has abandoned their annual migrations in favour of bedding down in the snow like a bunch of Sasquatches. Every spring they lay a million eggs and hatch countless fuzzy babies which immediately begin to feast on the grass and poop everywhere.

All the students try to take selfies with them, only to get hissed at and even swooped by the 14 lb birds. Several of my friends nearly had their heads taken off by the beasts!

[–] finitebanjo -4 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Sure cool cool, are they apex predators with a 50 mile territory radius who evolved their face and toes into blades to the extent that their only defense against one another is to lock feet to avoid being taloned to shreds?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 12 hours ago

I hunt the things sometimes. And let me tell you its spooky hearing the shot bounce of them when just a bit too high. They then honk at you for your attempt.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

A goose wing strike will TOTALLY FUCK UP another bird, breaking bones.

And they will not back down.

From enviroliteracy.org:

  1. Maintain Eye Contact: Never turn your back on an aggressive goose. Always face the goose directly. This will allow you to monitor its behavior and anticipate its movements. Do not squint or block your eyes with any object, like a purse or briefcase.
  2. Slowly Back Away: Use your peripheral vision to guide your movements while keeping your gaze fixed on the goose. Back away slowly and steadily, avoiding any sudden or jerky actions that might further provoke the goose. Be mindful of your surroundings to prevent falls or stumbles. Most injuries related to goose attacks are actually due to people falling while fleeing.
  3. Avoid Hostile Behavior: It is essential to remain neutral in your behavior. Do not make aggressive gestures, wave your arms, or shout at the goose. Do not attempt to hit, kick, or swing at the goose. This will likely increase its aggression and could lead to a more severe attack.
  4. Create Distance: Keep backing away until you have put a significant distancebetween you and the goose. Once the goose is no longer exhibiting aggressive behaviors, it’s safe to continue moving away.
  5. If the Goose Charges: If the goose begins to charge or run towards you, do not run away frantically. Continue to back away slowly. The goose’s primary goal is usually to deter you from the area, not to engage in a prolonged battle.
  6. Lateral Movement (If Necessary): If the goose is very close and charging, you might need to move to the side and angle your movement away from the nesting area. Duckand move at a 90-degree angle, still facing the goose. The objective is to create some space while not turning your back to the bird.
[–] chonglibloodsport 5 points 1 day ago

I once saw one get hit by a car. The car had to be towed away. The bird walked away unscathed!