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There are some rumours about this. A lot of women and their families expect the husband to have a car, house, well paying job and paying a five figure (in USD) bridal price, while preferably be below 30 years. With the economy as it is, few men qualify. It's also expected from a lot of men to give his complete wage to the wife. Government goes along with that, and flavors the women in a divorce. Turns out a lot of guys just say f this, and don't get married anymore.
The men are also very picky. ~~Women outnumber men,~~ (Wrong. Men outnumber women by, like, a lot. Don't ask where I got that from) but they are also looking for a certain age, body type, and background. People are even buying/kidnapping little girls to raise as brides for their sons so they can mold them versus just finding a bride. Half of the time, they don't want the women available. They're too old, too fat, too ugly, divorced, have kids, outspoken, and all the other things that they've been conditioned to dislike. Also, a lot of women have rough married lives over there.
Women also belong to the groom's family in a way. If you "only" have a daughter, you really have one shot (and a clicking clock) for both you and her to pick the "best" family. Society has made it to where a woman is expected to serve her household and handle whatever they throw at her, but then punish them for wanting to pick the cage they're locking themselves into. Like, yeah, if it's super hard to get divorced, let alone marry again, and the man/family I'm marrying has a lot of power over me, and I'll be under the households thumb, I'm going to at least make sure I'm take care of. If their society was more equal, I think they'd be able to marry more for love/desire/want than security. But women over there don't get a lot of agency so they take it where they can.
Bith sides are saying "fuck it." Men don't want to be wage slaves and women don't want to be indentured bang maids.
They'd have that possibility, but in at lot of western countries where that possibility is larger marriage rates are lower than in China.
That's true. But I think that idea kind of... Lingers over a lot of western countries. Like you said, a lot of women have it baked in that whoever they marry needs to be daddy 2.0, but I think some of that comes from the fear of "messing up." Not that divorced dads are out there dodging 🐈⬛ on the daily, but women get a lot of "You picked the wrong guy, so you deserve it" so they panic about picking the "right" one.
One of the talking points is that women, when they can freely choose, very often go for the top 10% of men in terms of looks and income. That means of course there will be a lot of disappointment.
A serious rethinking of a lot of things in society needs to happen. Relationships and children are one part of this.
I think both sides are often looking for the top percent, but with men usually concerned with looks, since women aren't typically raised to be the breadwinner. Just look at memes about men and their ideal women — it's all about how attractive the cashier is, or the prettiest girl at school, etc. There aren’t that many stunning women in the world, and those who are, are aware that for, many men, their value is often based on their appearance — but that value is fleeting before they're "too old." Powerful men don’t usually end up with regular people, and it’s a common trope that once a man settles down, he’ll "upgrade." When men have money and options, they can afford to be picky, often seeking out someone gorgeous, and if there's a deeper connection, that's just a bonus.
Of course, memes aren’t a scientific reflection of reality, but it’s interesting that you rarely see memes like "model vs. woman I vibe with" instead of "pretty woman VS woman I think is prettier."It’s not that men shouldn’t have standards — there are definitely some wild women out there. But I don't think it's as simple as women just chasing the richest, most handsome men for no reason other than greed. For a long time, marriage was a woman’s only form of security — finding someone who could support her, possibly offer freedom, and ensure safety, all while staying within a timeline before she was seen as 'bargain goods.'" I think that mind set still lingers with a lot of women because there are always worse things for a woman than being single. As women gain more financial and societal freedom, they start getting picky because now no one really needs a partner. Women are now free to choose on looks, charm, sexual prowess, like men have in the past, but some women still hold that standard of the man being the main backbone of the house. So now, men have the same standards they put on women, plus the burden they (culturally) have put on themselves by being the head of household and main provider.
I think both sides need a lot of work.
Wait, did the topic of the conversation change? Because China absolutely does not have more women than men.
Lord, you're right. Thanks for the fact check.
Without mentioning "China" in your body, I feel like this comment could be pasted under low romance rates happening across a dozen countries.
So neither men nor women want to get married under the currebt circumstances.