this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2025
1207 points (98.7% liked)

Programmer Humor

20039 readers
1579 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

See the post on BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/provisionalidea.bsky.social/post/3lhujtm2qkc2i

According to many comments, the US government DOES use SQL, and Musk is not understanding much what's going on.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 93 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Lmao we’re gonna get to watch eel-on-musk and all of his dipshit wünderkinds speedrun through all of the pitfalls a junior DBA / data engineer is liable to make, and they’re gonna do it on prod, and prod is the US government.

What could possibly go wrong

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago

He's going to dedupe the social security databases, thinking that he's screwing over trans people because he thinks they are the only people who change their names... not realizing that the vast majority of married women have at least two names associated with their SSN.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Either a DELETE FROM or a DROP DATABASE if I had to guess

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 day ago

An UPDATE without a WHERE clause that doesn't get noticed for a week or two. Your data's hosed and you can't really cope with reverting to your last known good backup. Bonus points if you haven't tested your recovery procedures recently. Then he runs around screeching about how the data is obviously fraudulent and he's a genius for finding it.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago

Little Johnny Tables, the hero we didn't expect.

[–] Maggoty 2 points 1 day ago

Oh I just curled up into a fetal ball at the thought of that...