How they respond to them asking me to do something and I say, "No." If they accept it without any problem and move on, that's good. If they inquire about it to make sure they are respecting boundaries, I'm okay, or there's something they can do to ameliorate a situation, that's good. If they argue it or insist in anyway, then that's a red flag. The reason is that they are implying that they don't accept my desires and situation as important in and of itself. I am more of a tool to achieve what they want because they are not demonstrating care for my experience. They are demonstrating that they will fight for what they want, so consent is a task to be acquired/achieved, not an natural approval based on mutual benefit.