The easiest way is to shut down blatent sexism you see around in posts and comments. I wouldn't even be aggressive about it. Just a "hey, that's not cool" and downvote.

Problem is, a lot of folks are "jokingly" sexist, while also only kinda joking? Either way, I think there's a line, but it's going to be different for everyone, and I'm definitely not sure that I'm the one who gets to draw it. But when women are seeing openly gross posts about women, it is very off-putting and will cause them to shun a community.

[–] blazeknave 14 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Thanks. That makes total sense. I'm pretty grossed out by most tropes so my tolerance for what's "just joking" is minimal. I believe I do what you suggest IRL. My 8 yr old son does too. There's a great Ted talk called feminism is a man's problem or something that reshaped my perspective many years ago - we have to use our privileges to upstand bc only haves can give power, have nots can't just manifest it. In any hierarchical dichotomy. I try to make space in work meetings and help people feel comfortable speaking and telling those with the privilege to be comfortable to stfu sometimes. I think the difficult part for some men (I know how those words sound together!) is reconciling wanting to help but not knowing how to ask whether it's welcome and they fear it'll be construed as offensive. Perhaps bc society allows boys will be boys, and they're never taught how to communicate boundaries.

[–] SarcasticCephalopod 5 points 3 weeks ago

Thank you for making space in meetings. Thank you for all of it, but especially that.

It's difficult to have faith in your own voice when it's consistently drowned out - especially in those subtle ways it happens in meetings.

Early in my career, I worked with a man who would consistently refer back to a woman who had been interrupted. He always made it seem organic and I don't think most of the men even realized it was happening. But the women noticed the pattern. I know I'm not the only woman who learned to be more comfortable advocating for myself, thanks to him.

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