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The other day in a video game public chat, someone said something like "these zombies are so fast in the cave. They keep killing me!"
Someone replied "skill issue"
I looked at this interaction and was like, huh, why? Why say that? It's kind of trite but I guess very mildly funny in the "I understood that reference" kind of way. But also it would've taken about the same amount of effort to be like "I hear you bro. those zombies are assholes." Just, like, be nice.
So I asked the guy why he chose to be unkind rather than supportive. He was confused, but after I elaborated he responded by saying I'm "soft"
I think about this sometimes, now. He could've been nice. But he decided not to. Because he views being nice as being "soft", and that's bad.
That's not a set of norms I really want to live under.