No Stupid Questions
No such thing. Ask away!
!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
Rules (interactive)
Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.
All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.
Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.
Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.
Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.
Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.
Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.
That's it.
Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.
Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.
Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.
Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.
On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.
If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.
Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.
If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.
Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.
Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.
Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.
Let everyone have their own content.
Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.
Credits
Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!
The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!
view the rest of the comments
My dad isolated me from having friends when I was a kid. He did a lot of shit where him having control over the situation was the goal.
Now I'm 41, and I haven't dated in years. The biggest reason is that I cannot imagine being around another person all day, who I actually enjoy living with. I did it in the past, and I know it's unfair to say that all other women will turn out like the woman I dated. She in herself had a LOT of issues. But the thing I notice watching from afar is that people are selfish. Every woman wants to ask "what are you bringing to the table?". As if dating as a core concept is just a trophy hunt for finding the most useful, or hottest, or most impressive partner.
And I look at it totally differently. I want to find a woman whose personality NATURALLY matches mine. Because I've dated some women where we didn't have much in common. And I figured we'd grow together. What ended up happening is we tried to force ourselves to like each others interests. And I gotta say......that just made me HATE watching dr phil with her. And she hated my interests. One day we just sort of realized we were only with each other to avoid being alone.
But I want to find someone that I just enjoy being around. Just naturally their personality matches mine. I don't give a shit what car they have, or even no car. I don't care what job she has, or even unemployed. I don't care how tall she is, or what size boobs she has. I mean, I kinda do care that she does the cooking, but that's only because right now I literally have a freezer full of about 300 individually ziplocked fully cooked chicken breasts. It's the only thing I cook. So yeah, she should cook just so we're not trying to rely on ME cooking.
The problem with me finding someone I enjoy interacting with is that I generally dislike most people. And as time goes on, I feel like I'm getting crankier. In general I don't like this world, and some of my only solice is sitting in my recliner, and just existing. In silence. Taking a breath. Calming down. And I don't think anyone else would understand the concept of doing nothing for your own personal sanity.
So there's lots of reasons I don't feel like I'll ever date again, but among the biggest are the fact that I cannot for the life of me envision how my next relationship would start. I'm 41, and haven't dated since before the pandemic. I'm just supposed to go up to some random woman and say "Hey, wanna date???"
It's not like I meet any new people anymore. I don't go places, or do things. I just work. For 10-16 hours a day, every day. And even if I did get put into a situation where there was a new woman, how would I even know if we'd be right for each other? How would I even know if she WANTS to meet me? And what would I say? I never say the right thing. I could go up to a new person and be like "OH HEY! YOU DOIN' OK??? THIS PLACE IS GREAT! IT HAS CHIPS!!! CHIPS AND DIP!!! UH-HUH UH-HUH UH-HUH-HUH!!! DON'T DOUBLE DIP! REMEMBER THAT? FROM SEINFIELD? GEORGE DOUBLE DIPS! CAN'T DO THAT! WHAT? NO. I'M NOT SAYING YOU DOUBLE DIP. I'M JUST SAYING SEINFIELD WAS A FUNNY SHOW! YOU EVER HEARD OF SEINFIELD? IT WAS ON IN THE 90S. THEY SAID IT WAS A SHOW ABOUT NOTHING, BUT THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING GOING ON! MICHEAL RICHARDS IS ON THAT SHOW! HE TURNED OUT TO BE A RACIST! CALLED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE THE N-WORD AT A COMEDY CLUB YEARS LATER. HEY, HAVE YOU TRIED THE CHIPS? CHIPS AND DIP. UH-HUH UH-HUH UH-HUH UH-HUH!"
And it all just comes accross as some psychopath invading your space, because I don't know what to say. Because when everyone else was 5 and 6 and 12 and 18 and growing up with other kids/teens, I got told to stay in a mostly empty room. No TV, no radio, no books, no music. Just stay in there and figure it out. And so now I don't have social skills. Now I come onto Lemmy to write walls of text to strangers as one of the only forms of communications I feel comfortable with. I know I come across like a nutjob, because I probably am, but at least nobody here knows me, and thus I can let my crazy out. Kinda like when you get home from work, and you unbuckle your belt, and let out a big fart, and just let your gut out because nobodys there to care.
Wow, this one hit me hard. I was just having a conversation with my mom about my social situation and am thinking about reading this to her.
My argument to her was that the "forced" abstinence really messed with my head and made it very difficult to talk to women.
I'm 44 and feel you, brother.
I get your username now!
Don't even get me STARTED on the whole conspiracy with turtles! Just make sure you hide your peanuts if your neighbors get a turtle! Otherwise they'll steal your identity, and drive a car, and it'll be a whole big thing....
And then who's laughing??? I'll tell ya who! George Clooney! The smug bastard....
Hahaha! It’s all coming together
There are definitely people out there who'd understand your situation.
I think therapy would be the best next step.