this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2024
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ITT: Bunch of assholes telling you "have you tried to NOT having a cold" when your nose is clearly leaking.
If you don't understand how it feels to be lonely, any advice you give is awful and full of entitlement.
Maybe it's just my own bias, but I assumed the advice comes from people who have been or are lonely, and are talking about what helped them.
The worst depths of loneliness I've had were when I lived in a country where I didn't speak the language well, and was in a tiny, tiny town. The way I got out of it was threefold. One was being kinder to myself. I indulged myself in just being alone. Watching movies on my laptop and trying my hand at creative writing, which I had always wanted to do, but hadn't done. The second was getting into better physical shape. Even half assing it made me feel better: I'm a biologist so I can attest to the fact that one's mental health improves with a little healthier physical body, if it's possible. Finally...I just had to be comfortable being awkward. I was the bizarre foreigner who didn't understand customs or the language, and even when I had assholes being kind of a jerk... Whatever! I just did my thing, went to social events as regularly as I could stomach (once a week ish), and was surprised at how after a month or so, things really did turn around. I found asking questions to be a way to get to know people and places. Other people love to talk and answer questions, even when you didn't ask a question: as we've all seen in this thread.
None of that is to say it will work for everyone, or even anyone else.... But I understand the pain of loneliness. So if sharing my experience can help anyone, please grant me some leniency if I'm being a tone deaf jerk, because that's not my intent!