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I apparently got shadow banned almost a year ago from blahaj, for a comment I made on lemmy.world
(lemmy.sdf.org)
For the record I was posting in support of inclusive language, but pointing out that context and convention matter.
They seem to have even scrubbed my comment from their instance, lol.
It depends upon who you ask. Some people think it's gender neutral; some don't. If you don't want to offend people, you should ask.
I don't feel like asking random people on the internet I will only interact with once whether or not they support the word dude. If it bothers them, they can inform me and I can apologize. But I guess, in relation to your comment, that would just boil down to me being okay with offending people who are upset if a 'first conversation' involves me using the wrong 'friend' word.
Putting a bit of a burden here on general public here lol